Quick drop in

I just zipped in here to download the diary so I don’t lose it all. There’s parts either in here or in Torin’s that I want to look at, and I imagine finding the reference is going to be challenging at best. It all ties in to the fact that I have a client with PTSD. I’ve been treating him for a shoulder injury related to an on-the-job accident, and he’s just about ready to go back to work. The physiotherapist and I have had good success with him, and he’s happy as anything to be headed back. However, he may continue to come for massage as part of his therapy to treat his PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). He may not–who knows?–but it occurred to me that there were parts of Torin’s story that relate to this fella’s experiences.

His PTSD is consequential to combat in Afghanistan, Bosnia and Cyprus over the course of 25 years in the Canadian military. He tells me he’s not a nice person, which he probably believes. I told him he doesn’t scare me and that I know he would never hurt me, to which he replied, "Not physically." This in context as his therapist, mind you. I’m not interested in a relationship with someone who has so many red flags for me, even if he is kind of cute. I am interested in the effects of massage on the tension in his body. He has a very hard time letting his arm and shoulder go limp so I can move it and restore its function. He has said, "This body can’t relax." As part of his therapy the other day, since his arm and shoulder have come along so well, I included basic massage techniques for his entire back, which he enjoyed very much. If he opts to get DVA to authorize massage as part of his therapy, I think it’ll do him a world of good. It also helps that I just accept him as he is. When he said he had killed people but they were trying to kill him, and then revealed his military past, I just kind of nodded and shrugged a you-do-what-you-have-to-do kind of shrug. I don’t pry, but I take in what he tells me and put the pieces together. I think the reason he’s so bothered by what he’s seen and done is that he IS a nice person who was put in very not nice situations and survived by becoming someone he doesn’t like very much. In any case, he’s interesting.

I don’t know yet if I should show him the parts of Torin’s story that I’m looking for, but it occurred to me that if he could read it, or at least hear about it and know that I wrote it, he might realize that I have sympathy for soldiers in combat who do things that eat at them. And that, in itself, may be very therapeutic. It may all be moot. If he doesn’t get DVA to cover massage, he’ll be gone from my radar after next week. He’s in twice more for massage, and a few times for physio, although I won’t bump into him those days–his physio is in the morning on days I’m on the late shift, and then he’s ready to go back to work. Whether he stays a client or not, I wish him well in his journey to becoming whole again.