Smoke, Smoke, Smoke that cigarette

Puff, puff, puff and if you smoke yourself to death
Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate
That you hate to make him wait
But you just gotta have another cigarette

It appears that our American cousins to the south are now getting graphic cigarette warnings on cigarette packaging. We’ve had these in Canada for a number of years now, and although disturbing at first glance, you hardly notice after a short while.

Sometimes I wish anti-smoking activists would just fuck off. Honestly, everything you do these days seems to have some kind of anti-following against it. Smoke pot, eat meat, smoke cigarettes, eat salt….you name it, and there’s a bloody "don’t do that" group somewhere along the lines. There’s always someone, somewhere, that wants you to know just how bad everything is for you. Someone, somewhere that feels a certain way about something and will do everything under the sun to make you feel that way too.

It’s called fascism, kids. I’m pretty sure we all saw that south park episode.

Let me clear the air (no pun intended):

I love to smoke. I love everything about smoking. From the first slow drag of the day to the final exhausted puff of the night, I am in love with those little white sticks of pure joy. Nothing feels better than a full meal and a cigarette afterward. Nothing feels quite as relaxing as a beer and a smoke. Twenty-five cigarettes a day is all you need to start REALLY living.
(and that line from shawshank redemption pops into my head: either get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’)

I love the 1920’s-1950’s American cigarette culture – From vintage ads to machines that would dispense them for only 50 cents. Cigarettes were embraced as the ‘status quo’ for ‘upscale living!’ and the economy thrived on the rich, sweet blood of tobacco.
(Because back then smoking was good for you, god damnit!)

I smoked my first cigarette when I was 11 years old. I mean, REALLY smoked my first cigarette. A friend and I stole a pack of his father’s "hoffman kings" – a neato blue pack that doesn’t exist anymore, sadly. We smoked those cigarettes at lunch hour. I coughed like a motherfucker but it was worth it. I felt complete. I felt….complete.

Years went by and so did brands, from "players lights" to "benson and hedges gold" (and for a brief couple of weeks one summer – B&H black) then on to American branded cigarettes "Winston lights" and "camels" (we used to take the train across the border to washington and buy cigarettes from the first corner store that accepted canadian money) And finally, residing on a wonderful brand known to many as "JPS". A completely black cigarette pack minus the white and black text warning and gold "JPS" lettering on the front…..These were not for the faint of lung…..These were cancer sticks, tried and true. JPS had ten times the tar and nicotine that the other brands did, and that’s exactly why we smoked them. Just a pissing contest in the form of a stick you spark and inhale.

Oddly enough, JPS disappeared from store shelves and to this day can only be purchased in select "tobacco" shops (like the ones you see in malls that usually cater to either cigars, marijuana, or knives. I don’t know what knives have to do with smoking.

I guess the only question remaining is "Have you ever considered quitting?…..for real?"

Sure. There have been thoughts, spurring moments of stupidity and even enlightened moments of "my god, this is killing me ever so slowly". But it’s always been fleeting, or masked by the fact…Yes, the fact….that I’ve been smoking for so long that it’s become a part of me. A completion that I would not, could not, be without.
I am aware of the health risks. I am aware of the carcinogens, and causes, and certain other things. Yes. I am aware. If you don’t smoke, that’s great. Wonderful. Good for you. I don’t smoke crack, But I’m pretty sure I’ve never rallied to have labels put onto crack vials warning the user of the dangers. (though, that would be funny for a moment or two)

And so in closing, I’ve got to say to all of you non-smokers out there – Take a step back and think for a minute. We know it’s bad for us, and yet we still do it. Likely you do the same with other things in life that are bad for you. You’ve not applied sunscreen knowing full well the dangers of UVA and UVB rays. You’ve pressed your face against the microwave to see your food cooking despite the clear warnings. You’ve eaten mcdonalds despite that movie "super size me".

To you I say, sit down, shut the fuck up, and try a cigarette. Who knows? You might enjoy yourself.