Divvy up the stuff

She was cool for about an hour,
After that, shit went sour.
She took all I ever had,
No sign of guilt, No feelings of bad, No.
She fuckin’ hates me. Trust,
She fuckin’ hates me.

With the addition of a new guy, Rob, at work, the numbers are three divorced guys to two married guys.
Fucking trust me when I say men piss and moan and pine about their divorce way more than the ladies.

And I get it. I do. You’re the jilted lover, the one who didn’t do anything and that bitch went and fucked up your life. I understand, I have nuts, I’m a male….
The problem is that everytime I hear the stories, and they all start the same way –

"She wasn’t the same person after 23 years, She wasn’t the same person I married"

– I have to laugh to myself and try to contain my retort.

You’re an idiot. Plain and simple. NO ONE is the same person after 23 years. Are you telling me you haven’t changed one iota in your 46 years on the planet? I thought not.
People change. Wives change, husbands change. You have to roll with the flow, allow for change, change with them. Humans are naturally designed to allow this, and yet for some reason as males we have this deep set fear of change, or "what if she changes onto a path that doesn’t include me?".
It’s not likely, but it does happen. You have to understand that this is natural and that there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it, accept that, and move on. Don’t be angry over something neither of you can control, be happy that you had the time together that you did.
Don’t depreciate your wife’s value over the years. She’s not a flat screen TV, She’s a real live human being with feelings and thoughts and emotions….Just like you! Don’t assume that just because she’s there every day, that she’ll remain there at your convenience.

"Comfortable" and "Convenience" are completely different perspectives. Don’t take advantage of the fact that you’ve put an expensive ring on her finger. She’s not going to stick around if you treat her like anything other than the person that she is.

Divorce is hard, but splitting up has been hard since you were a teenager. Both sides feel the pain, and putting stubborness and bitterness into the mix isn’t going to help the situation. If you can’t get along, fine, but don’t lose the ability to be civil. It’s not about "winning" or "entitlement" as there is no clear winner on either part. You’ve both put your money and years into this, and it’ll be split equally, and that’s the end of it.

And finally, Without hesitation:
If you’re proclaiming to the world that your first two marriages ended up the exact same way, you need to take a deep look into yourself. It’s probably you, not them. Yes, YOU. I find it hard to believe that two different women from two different cities with completely different personalities could have changed into the exact same person only 30 years apart. Something tells me that you’re the cause, You molded them into the spiteful, bitter person that they became. It’s you, always has been, and will continue to be until you have some kind of epiphany and change yourself for the better.

 

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3 divorced? So you and Kent are the last men standing lol, and we’re good. We always need to keep working on ****, but not divorce level ****. I dunno about Kent, but I will assume he’s good lol So is Paul doing a lot of pissing? And your dad and newb dude too eh? You needa come home to me with this gossip 😛 I have a baby all day and no adult conversation, this **** is juicy to me lol xoxox