07/12/2009
Nothing says I love you,
Like a rock to the head
Rain….For once. The pitter-patter of it reminds me of the sound against an old tin roof, But really, it’s the sound of it against my car as I speed down that same highway I’ve sped down a million times before. There’s something rythmic, almost calming about the rain. But here I go again, onto another tangent that has nothing to do with why I’m speeding down this highway or why I’ve got another, yet another, stranger in my car.
It’s been a year, A full year -and-some-months- since I’ve been here. Over the duration I’ve thought about it so many times it makes my head spin…..But that’s really not the point…..There’s some kind of urge to come here, but that urge can be subsided with nothing more than a wave of different thought or distraction. As many as fifty times a day I wil distract myself, through taunt or television, technology or otherwise. Sometimes it helps to just sleep. I find sleep to be the greatest distraction.
I digress.
Sadly, the last one had been a challenge….A fighter, but I guess they had all been fighters….But this one had been different. I don’t feel fear, but I am scared that this one might be the same way. Nevertheless, I have to go through, and survive.
"So where is this place?" She spoke "It’s really far out here!"
"We’re almost there" I replied
Indeed, almost there, I could see the lining of trees through the pouring rain. A wave of familiarity ran through my spine, and I smiled inside…..I missed you. I should have visited more often…..but this year has been hectic.
My passeneger was restless, I could see it through the dark, but I didn’t care. She was young, but not creepy young, Maybe 20….21? I wasn’t here to be some kind of pedophile….what kind of statement would that make? Nobody cares when 15 year old girls go missing anymore….what has this world come to?
I pulled to the side of the road I’d been to a thousand times. I tossed the car in nuetral and threw on the parking brake.
I’ve been here
I’ve done this.
I turned to her and cocked my head to one side, coy and playful:
"did you want to go outside?" I smirked
"but it’s raining…" She was hesitant. I could see the worry almost instantly…..The kind of worry that pleads ‘i this guy going to kill me?’
"Come on, It’s just rain….don’t be such a wussy" Coax, Coax, just get the fuck out of the car….I smiled pleasantly.
Doors opened, and the rain was cold. A breeze was there, but I couldn’t feel it. All I could feel was the tightness in my chest growing more and more steady and painful. Something isn’t right.
I could see them, all of them, leering at me with their god damned cold eyes. E very single one of them, I had buried years before, but they were there, in colour. Taunting me, Their eyes piercing with dead hatred, Their stare nothing but pure and intense anger in the worst way imaginable.
"Fuck you!" I cursed "You’re dead! You’re all dead! You can’t be here – You aren’t here!"
"What the fuck is going on" the stranger sounded increasingly panicked.
I ran. I ran as fast as I could, To the car, shut the door, release the brake, press the clutch, turn the key….get away from them. Get away from them. Get away from them.
I could hear the stranger screaming at me, incoherent words through the pouring rain and closed car windows.
I slipped into first gear and stomped on the gas, getting away, getting away….
And as I’d come to find many months later, as I had sped away that night, the loose gravel from the roadside had contained much larger rocks, that which had caught with the spinning rubber of my tire, and unfortunately met with my strangers skull. The blood pour must have been massive, and the death quite quick, as she had fallen right there, in the grave meant for her.
And I missed it, all of it.