wth…

Recently I’ve been dissed by my clinical group (the group of girls I go do my clinical time with at the hospital). Not really sure what happened but here’s the deal:

They’ve been posting pictures on Facebook of a group outing to which I wasn’t invited. We all used to be really close, and it just kinda fell apart for various reasons. Maybe if I’m not too tired I’ll expand on it more later.

Doesn’t matter… what’s puzzling me is… I know these pictures are shamelessly being posted. At first I was very upset about not being invited and seeing the pictures made me tear up a little and be in a very bad mood…

and then something weird happened and I was actually happy that they were all having such a good time without me. I was glad that me being out of their group made them happy.

Is that weird? WTH… I have no idea how to describe what happened but… I really AM happy for them. As much as I was envious before, I am happy now.

I have accepted that they don’t want to be my friend. I think I have accepted it so readily because I know that I am only here for a short amount of time while Amir gets his military stuff out of the way. I understand that in another year or so I will not even know what happens to these people. This is a transitory situation.

It would have been nice if things would have stayed cool between us all, but shit happens. I guess it’s better that I know how they are now so I can avoid the knife in my back later. I’m glad I didn’t divulge any really horrible secrets to them. That’s what my diary here is for. ;P

I’ve been hanging out with a new girl named Katherine. She’s is really cool and not catty or bitchy or backstabby like most of the people in the nursing program here. Is it just me or are almost ALL nurses naturally bitchy?

Gosh, I’m so weird. I really, REALLY do not like women. There are *rare* exceptions to this, but seriously, I don’t. *sigh* And I don’t care about that, either. I’m gonna find some MALE friends. Males are so much better than females.

I dealt with the same exact kind of stuff when I was in grad school and doing clinicals (I didn’t go to school for nursing, though). There was this one group of about 8 girls that were kind of known as the “popular” crew and did everything together. When my classes consisted of only 10-12 people on average, it was hard to avoid them and I felt a lot of pressure to befriend them largely…

…cuz I didn’t wanna feel left out by pretty much my entire program. I wound up successfully befriending them….only to have them behave like total assholes after I graduated, which caused me to realize that I had ignored their bitchy nature all along in grad school cuz I was so focused on fitting in with them. Now, I wish I would have gotten to know other people in the program better..

…cuz at least maybe those other people would have been nicer and more genuine. My program was basically 99.9% female, as well. I think part of the problem is that even though a lot of women aren’t naturally bitchy, they are extremely prone to falling victim to peer pressure and become bitchy in an attempt to fit in. It sucks!

ashleymarieless

I’ve got to agree with you on that lol. Males are sometimes better to have as friends.

I think it’s pretty normal. You’ve lost the emotional investment in those people that made you feel bad. You’re detached, so you can be happy for them. Chicks are hard to be friends with, sometimes.

*huggles* You realized they weren’t important. That’s all there is to it. No worries. =)