Update

It’s been a while since I was here last. I’m a pretty bad diarist, I guess. I’ve just been packing to move. Well, it’s VERY slow-going. I am supposed to be all packed up by the time Amir gets to my house. I’m meeting him at his parents’ house in the midwest (I’ve got to catch a flight out there, actually). When he gets to Ku-wait he’ll be buying me a ticket to his parents’ place. 

 

Very emotional right now. I’m PMSing. It usually happens around this time. I wonder if my left ovary still works. I only feel mittleschmertz in my right ovary. It’s been that way for at least 6 months or so. Don’t suppose it matters. We don’t ovulate in any particular order, I suppose. 

I’ve finally got my outfit together for Amir’s homecoming. And I ordered these custom M&Ms for his homecoming. They say "Home at Last! xD " and "I missed you! <3 " and they’ve got a close-up of our faces on the other side. The picture I used was my profile picture… the one on my main page. 

My banner arrived at his parents house last week. His mom says it looks really good, and she loves the picture that I picked. =] It’s a picture of him alone in his uniform. I’m glad she likes it. 

I’ve been kind of in a funk lately. I don’t really know why. The deployment is winding down, and we have 5 links left on our deployment chain. I should be more excited. I should be frikking ecstatic. I guess there are a lot of changes happening at once and I’ve kind of shut down. It’s just overwhelming… daunting all the things I have left to do.

I have to get my CPR certification for Nursing school.     I have to pack up everything I own to move.     I have to find us a place to live.     I have to call about getting our car fixed (it’s at his parents, and they didn’t start it up every week like they should have).      I have to get my student ID and my Nursing school ID before a certain date so I can buy books with my IDs.     There’s also the road trip across country.    

I know I am going to miss my family so much.  I cry just thinking about it. Before I complained about it but now I am just so sad about it. I guess I just need to allow myself to cry. It’s been a while since I’ve had a good cry. 

 

Amir told me yesterday on Skype that he met a chick there who’s in the Air Force. Apparently, she went to the same school he did. And he believes she is more skilled that he is. I didn’t do my usual freak-out and get jealous routine. I was uneasy about it, but I didn’t say a word that could be misconstrued as me being jealous. I didn’t ask if she was pretty. I didn’t do anything like that. I felt like doing that at one point, but I didn’t do it at all. I just pretended like he had said something like "I just put on my shoes."  And the normal response would be something like "Okay….."  

I don’t know if it’s that I’m just tired of getting jealous, that I trust him now, or that I kind of expect something to happen.  Well, those are 3 different answers to why I didn’t react as I normally would have. Here’s a good one: Maybe I’m more secure in myself. I actually like that answer. 

And you can be more secure in yourself and still expect something to happen. I just know now that I could handle it if he wanted to leave me. I do love him dearly, don’t get me wrong. But being accepted to Nursing school, and doing so freakin’ well on the entrance exam (97% correct while the rest of the class got 81% correct) has done something to me. I just feel more confident in my abilities to make it in this world. So if he wants to leave me, then good luck finding someone as talented, intuitive and caring as I am to him.

Ha, I’m a little braggy on myself now. Wow, I really AM PMSing. That was a complete mood swing. I went from crying to down-right hopeful in five minutes!!!!!!!!

Amir and I got a new Yorkie puppy for Sophie. We’re going to be leaving here, and we’re leaving Sweetie (my mom’s dog) behind, of course. Sophie has gotten used to Sweetie, so I thought it would be nice for her to have a playmate. So now enters Recon. He’s a feisty little thing, and so frikkin’ cute. I only wish that Sophie got along with him. She’s awfully jealous and snippy with him. My mom’s dog Sweetie and Recon seem to get along just great. They play together all the time. I did see a glimmer of hope tonight, though. Sophie chased Recon from the living room towards my room–they were play fighting. I was really happy to see that. 

It’s so funny about the puppy, though. For months I’ve been telling him "We need to get a dog for Sophie. She will be lonely without another dog around when I’m in school and you’re at work." He’s ALWAYS said no. The one day I was on Skype and I just mentioned that Sophie is gonna miss Sweetie when we move and that made me sad. He said "Well, why don’t we get another dog?" And I was like… "Are you serious?? I’ve been saying that for months." He sheepishly replied, "Yeah, I know." He’s so silly!

 

Blah, I’m about half way done with packing. This is going to suck. I’ve been putting my boxes and bins in Amir’s truck as I’ve gotten them packed. I think it helps. But I’ve still got a lot to do. I hate packing. I should be frikkin’ good at it by now. This mobile lifestyle leaves something to be desired. HowEVER, I do like living somewhere new every few years. I do think that’s the cool part about being with someone in the military. And even though I’ll miss my family, I know I will have a good time in Nursing school out there. And it’s sort of a chance to be out on my own. I had that before, but, this is more permanent. This is 2 years of school. 

 

I just need to destress. I’ve been doing the escapists thing to relax. I just finished The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Good book, much better than the movie. I’m never watching another movie based on a book until I read the book first. If you haven’t seen the movies, don’t see them until you read the book!!!

I’ve also been watching a lot of webisodes of I Dream of Jeannie.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znp-EwXcYnQ&playnext_from=SL

 

Alright, that’s all I’ve got for you.  Amir’s on Skype now.