“I think she’s hot because she’s confident”

 *rolls eyes*

Tonight Amir and I were talking. I told him I thought someone on TV was hot because he seemed confident. The person I said this about was a man probably in his 50s and not attractive at all. Dude, he’s not even hot. He’s got like.. a handlebar mustache. 

Then he said that he thought an actress on TV was hott because she was confident (not because she was pretty). But this actress was like… 25 or something and obviously pretty. 

So, I fake hit him and said "Don’t say that again" but while I was hitting him my 4 pound laptop slipped off of my lap and fell right onto my 4 pound Yorkie and scared her. I thought I may have hurt her and I obsessed about it for a while. I am still obsessing about it, shit, I’m writing this entry. 

I don’t know why I feel like I don’t have  any confidence right now. I feel like I should… I don’t know. Maybe my low test score really got to me. Maybe that’s what it is. I shouldn’t feel any lack of confidence at all. I mean, Amir and I are married. 

How stupid was I to think that I would magically grow confidence once Amir and I got married? Ugh.

And, you know, Amir was probably just trying to tell me that I need to be more confident or something. I guess I do. It’s hard. 

I hope my doggie is okay. She’s adorable and didn’t do anything to deserve being scared.