9/24/04

Clarity and perspective.
Amazing things really, I’ve come to understand.

First off, my apologies to all those with whom I’ve lost touch recently. I’m not dead, nor do I consider you to be, I’ve just been busy trying to get my school life straightened out (and don’t worry I’m almost there).

It’s amazing how much difference a year can make. This time last year I was fighting hard to save a doomed (but excellent while it lasted) relationship and school was something less than an afterthought. It’s a bad way to start life in a new environment. It’s not that I wasn’t producing – the photos were always coming naturally, as they do – it was the drive to truly excel that was lacking. Thankfully, I’ve got that back this year.

On another note, a new but truly inspirational friend (wink) has convinced me to resume writing a play that I had started but stopped writing a while back. I don’t know whether it will be any good or not, but nonetheless undertaking a writing task with as much scope as a stageplay is an ascetic experience in itself.

Speaking of ascetic experiences, I’ve decided this year to take on more expansive and personal photo projects. Not only do they look awesome in a portfolio, but I think they will also help me grow as a photographer and a person in general.

I met Sue Johanson (the sex lady) the other day. I found that listening to her talb>k about sex taught me something that can apply to all areas of life. The message was that education does not equal promotion. Kids in all areas of schools should be taught everything they need and want to know about sex, to empower them to make the best choices. Teaching kids about birth control isn’t promoting teenage sex – the ones who will do it would do it anyway – but giving them enough knowledge to make their own educated decisions will make the world a much safer place for them.

I also came to the realization the other day that my sister is 14 years old now. I forgot how fucked up that age really is. If I take the fuckedupness that 14 was for me, square it because she’s a girl, and double that because things seem to have gotten worse since I was that age…I should come close to understanding how fucked up things must be for her. Good God. I understand now why teens kill themselves. What kind of world are our kids growing up in, anyways?

On the subject of suicide, now there’s one thing that really cuts through the flesh of a seemingly quaint, happy and harmonious community. Accidental deaths usually bring people together, suicides break them apart. They make everyone stare hard into the mirror at themselves.

There are people who say that suicide is a selfish act – those people know it was their fault.

That’s about all I can think to write about right now. For some reason my house is a tad on the sweltering side and can’t stand to sit here much longer.

If any of you would like to get ahold of me for purposes of catching up, chit chat, et cetera, you can always email me.
If you don’t know my address, ask someone who does.

Remember kids: “Worry is the darkroom in which negatives develop.”
Whatever the fuck that means…