The Bed Song.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sW4dwXXX7Q

I feel like this is the direction my life is headed in. The first time I saw the video I may have actually teared up a little. It’s hard for me to talk about whats going on because I feel like a failure. I know, logically that I’m not the one making myself miserable, but I feel like I’m doing something wrong to cause the change in her attitude. I miss the girl I met so much. I don’t know what happened to her. Or why this new Jamie feels like she can treat me like an annoyance. I feel like she tolerates me. That’s not what I got married for. And I don’t want to walk away, but there’s only so long I can pound my head against the wall before I realize it wont move. I refuse to spend the rest of my life begging for the affection I deserve. I understand that I am an affectionate person, and maybe she may not be as much as I am, but it’s as though she just flipped the light switch off. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard "get away from me," "I’m comfortable," "Get off me," "why do you need to be near me all the time" "I’m not in the mood" and so forth in the past few months.
We haven’t had sex in two months. I told her all I wanted for my birthday was oral sex. Nothing. Even the stingiest of girls give a birthday BJ! I spent Valentine’s day alone. Not because she was working, or doing anything of any value, but because she was at the bar with her friends all night. She told me she’d be home soon at around 6pm. "Soon" actually turned out to be around 4-5 am. Why so late, when the bar closes at 2? you may be asking. Well, the answer is because she decided she hadn’t had enough fun, she needed to go to her friends house after. And then she told me that I was being crazy for crying and that Valentine’s day is stupid anyway. That I was lucky she came home at all because I was being so "crazy" that she didn’t want to be around me. Now, I know that Valentine’s day is stupid. I wasn’t expecting anything huge and nuts, but last year she made me a mad lib with candy. That’s adorable. How do you so drastically change your actions in a year? We’ve been going through such a rough patch that I thought it would be nice to spend a night in and reconnect. I want to get back what has been lost, but I can’t be the only one trying. It’s like playing tug of war with a hundred year old tree. It’s never going to go anywhere. 
I’ve tried talking to her about all of this, but I don’t know how many times I can hear "I’ll try" before I try to hit her face with my fist. 
I guess I’m done bitching now.