Rollercoaster, favorite ride.

Life can never stay at a constant for me or the people I care about can it? It always seems like things are going well and then bam, it’s like falling off a cliff. I don’t want anything unreasonable, do I? I just want to be able to be happy for more than a week at a time. And that’s not just for me, but for the people around me, as well.

Greg’s family is getting evicted from their apartment. I don’t know why, because I only got to talk to him for a minute earlier as he was out on a smoke break at work. I wish I could do anything to help them. Heidi and Joe are already having a tough enough time just living, and now this? This is the first time I’ve ever felt this close to not only the person I’m dating, but their family as well. I feel at home with them. I enjoy talking to them. They don’t make me feel like I’m dumb or not worthy of anything. I can just sit with his mom for hours and I’m totally cool hanging out with his dad and talking. Ughhhh

Well at least I can tell myself that if we can make it through shitty, rough times like these, we can make it through anything, haha.

Sometimes I get paranoid that he will get tired of me or that I will annoy him. I know that he’s being honest with me, I guess it’s just because of past experiences that I always feel this way. I get so worried that people don’t want to be around me and that they just keep me around because they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I know that he loves me and he likes being with me, but it’s hard to break old habits.

I love when he blurts out silly or cute things. They make me feel so much better because I feel like he didn’t have time to think about it and that it’s just exactly what he’s feeling at that moment.

I don’t know. I’m going to go work on my blanket some more now. I thought 100 granny squares would be enough, but apparently not, haha. I’m going to go make and outline some more squares.

I love you all.