Cynically open-minded

I don’t believe in fate. At least, mostly I don’t believe in fate. Sometimes I do. Perhaps I believe in good fate: a reassuring future you can wrap around yourself like a duvet when times get bad. But then I think I tend to reject bad fate: I tell myself that people make their own futures, that nothing is written in stone, and optimism, energy, and a desire to make things better can improve even the humblest lot.

So Jack and I were wandering around the fort at Jodhpur (a towering monolith, laced with fabulously intricate sandstone screens, soaring above the powder-blue cubism of Jodhpur town) and saw a sign for a palmist. I lingered a little,
"Can I have my palm read?" (I hasten to add that I don’t normally ask his permission to do stuff, it’s just that he’d have to wait for me, and also we’ve entirely pooled money this holiday, so my expenditure is also his)
Jack snorted, "Er… ok."
I kicked my feet embarrassedly. "I don’t know. It sort of appeals to me. I mean, I don’t believe in it or anything…"

So I went and hung around the sign while I waited for a German woman (dressed all in khaki, armfuls of green bangles, scary eyeliner) to finish her reading. Then I crept in. And I have to say, I remain sort of unconvinced. But I thought it might be an idea to write down here, right now, everything I can remember the guy saying. His reading in normal type, my reactions in italics…

Personality
I am very independent, I like to get people’s opinions, particularly those whose opinions I respect, but I always make my own mind up. I need a job where I can exercise this independence, and will be restricted by a job where I’m ordered around too much. I am flexible and easy-going, and don’t like to plan things, or am happy to adapt and change plans.
I’m not sure if Jack audibly snorted when the man said, ‘easy-going’, but if he didn’t, then I certainly felt his eyebrows dancing about incredulously. I am many things, and I can be very relaxed and shrug off formality, but I don’t think that’s quite the same as easy-going. Which I am not. In fact, I’d say that I’m quite hard work. But hell, I think I’m worth it. 😉 I am quite independent-minded, and certainly like to be independent at work. But then, I"m very dependent personally and emotionally on the people around me. Overall: I’d say I’m not convinced by this section.

Health
I’m in very good health, with my only weaknesses being a tendency to lowness of spirit. ‘You feel sad, you can’t go out’, which then abates, and leaves me feeling fine. I also like good food too much, and my stomach can suffer. He said I have low blood pressure, but would have to watch my blood pressure from around the age of 47, when it would get high, and I should take action to avoid heart problems around then. He asked if cancer was in my family, and heart problems, also said that osteoporosis and arthritis were, too. He reckoned as long as I took care of my blood pressure in my forties, I could live to be in my eighties.
My favourites already know that I have a tendancy towards stress, which I suppose could be a possible interpretation of ‘lowness of spirit’. Stomach… well, I have to say that anyone who looked at me could probably deduce a certain love of good food – that’s not hard to guess! I do have quite low blood pressure, as does my mother. As for the higher blood pressure later in life – we’ll have to wait and see. My only major medical complaint was appendicitis in 2001, but again, this is hardly conclusive. I think cancer is in everyone’s family, surely? My grandfather had a heart attack (again, hardly uncommon, although my uncle has heart problems in his forties, too), and I have no knowledge of any osteoporosis or arthritis.

Personal life
I am currently in love (‘living with someone, but avoiding children’) and very happy, and this will continue. I am heading for a big life change in the next year, and another aged 30, then again aged 33. My financial situation has not always been great, but is good now, and will continue to be good. I am ‘physically capable’ of having one or two children.
Not hard to guess I’m currently with someone: I think that the wedding ring should really have been a giveaway! Similarly, if I’d had children, they would have been with me, so I think that this probably counts as an educated guess, as well. I have always been worried about money, but our financial situation is much, much better this year sice Jack got a swanky new job, and I got a cheekily huge promotion.  Having sat in traffic with people literally wearing rags tapping on the windscreen asking for a rupee (the equivalent of just over a penny), I’m not sure I can in all conscience agree that previously my financial situation was not good. I mean, I was never hungry. In terms of life changes, well, again, time will tell. Jack and I want to start a family reasonably soon, so that could be our big change… who knows?

Work
I should work for a big multi-national company, ‘have you ever worked abroad?’ rather than a company just in the UK. Work began to go very well for me in around October 2004, when I got a promotion, and has since been successful.
I am sceptical about how happy I’d be in a big company: I’ve almost always worked in quite small organisations, and I enjoy the opportunity to make a difference, and the lack of hierarchies involved. I did get a promotion in September 2004 (although I think it wasn’t official until October 2004… maybe I’ll allow that one!) which was when I moved out of Communications and PR work into my current field. But then, the thing is that I have a tendency to keep getting promoted, with various secondments, and temporary promotions which become permanent, acting-up, etc. so my cynical side has to say that there’s a lot of dates that he could have chosen which might have resonated. I think a spot-on reading would have probably emphasised how work-driven and ambitious I am at the moment. I have been very focussed on climbing the greasy pole over the last year, and had my latest promotion (a job I thought I could do, but didn’t have anything like the required experience for) in July, which has occupied a lot of my time and energy.

Overall
I think I’m cynical. I’d like to believe it: he basically said I’d live long and prosper … but isn’t that what we’d all like to hear? If it’s true that I’ll have children, we’ll be financially well-off, I’ll be happy, and I’ll live until I’m in my eighties, then that doesn’t seem so bad to me. Even with all the extraneous gumpf, that seems like a pretty reassuring version of the future. And if it helps me to enjoy the present, then that’s even better.

with love, as ever,
therumtumtugger
xxx

PS Cynicism aside, I have to say that I will make a mental note to look out for my blood pressure in my forties. I mean, it can’t do any harm, right? RTT x