Longing

I am sure you can relate but maybe you can’t. I have spent the past half of my life begging a man to love me. Yet, I still sit here today begging another one to just seem somewhat interested in me. Is it that hard? to love me….?  I want to walk away and throw in the towel because I just don’t have the energy to lie here next to someone an feel such a distant and cold love. If only I meant to him what his videogames meant or concerts, or things that made him happy. Instead he can’t even make love to me or feel my skin at night. I am drowning and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I really want space to be alone and breathe because maybe then, he’ll realize my worth. I just want to feel like I mean something to someone. I just want someone to love me the way that I love. Why am I so hard to love?