Scream of the Butterfly

When I got to work (and no, this isn’t about work, it’s about how I felt AT work.  Still refusing to give work the satisfaction of being written about) I was in a rotten mood.  I have no idea why, I just was.  April could tell as soon as I walked in the door.  I don’t try to exude anger or ennui, but apparently I wear my emotions on my sleeve.  My mood was worsened by a phone call I had to endure, but refuse to describe — again, because to do so would give it power.  So when Misty came in, she immediately asked, "Are you okay?"  I told her that I was. 

Yeah, I’m a terrible liar too.  She said, "No, something’s wrong," and wouldn’t give up until I admitted that I was in a bad mood, but that I couldn’t pinpoint the cause.  I remained lethargic, irritable, and unable to concentrate for several hours.  A phone call from a friend (you know who you are) helped, but even through that I found it hard to focus, and nearly impossible to be, frankly, the way I usually am with my friends.  Then, after a small-scale rush, I said to Misty, "I’m gonna buy some chocolate; doesn’t that have some mood enhancers in it?"  She basically said that she didn’t know, but if it did I should try it, because I needed it.  So I bought the last bag of these delicious peanut-butter filled chocolate squares we have, and ate several.  Believe it or not, within moments I really did start to feel better.  Eating sweets made me think about my cinnamon bun ice cream, which I happily told Misty about.  Soon I was joking around with my customers the way I like to do sometimes, getting through my transactions with less confusion, etc.  It never got to 100% perfect, but I felt better. 

Ashley came in later to buy some water, and I told her about the chocolate making me feel better.  She said that I may have just had low blood sugar, because that can apparently make you cranky and lower your ability to focus, since the brain needs the energy from simple sugars to operate.  I dunno, I seem to have forgotten that particular part of Biology 101. 

So I still feel a bit weird, even though I ate that whole damn bag of chocolate squares throughout the course of the night and the trip home.  I imagine that was at least 3 or 4 servings.  Maybe now I’m just sleepy.  Who knows what the hell is wrong with me. 

El Fuerte