Fairies Wear Boots

I’ve been in a lot of flea markets lately, mostly because being unemployed gives me little excuse not to go with my father when he asks if I want to go.  I want to spend time with my folks when I can, so I sort of enjoy not having that excuse.

Anyway, as a result, I’ve seen some strange things.  I wish I had taken more than these three pictures, but they are really good examples of the weird shit people people will try to sell.

To start, a little good old family racism.  I’m assuming this statue (about three feet tall) was from a time when this sort of thing didn’t offend anybody, or at least anybody that mattered to the person who created it.  Of course, here in Mississippi, it’s possible the thing was sculpted about three months ago.

I’m not sure what to call this next one, but it bothers me.

Yeah, that’s a monkey in a jacket.  Somebody has placed a basket in his hands, and propped some other random stuff in his arms, but I believe they are sold seperately.  I think his name should be Monkeyworth.

Now, the granddaddy of them all.  As a word of warning, this one scared the crap out of me the first time I saw it.  It’s the sort of thing you have to be really creative to come up with.  Creative with a generous portion of crazy mixed in.

 As far as I can tell, this is an orangutan. In a dress.  Holding a baby orangutan wearing a crown.  The "mother" is staring off somewhere, perhaps contemplating her bizarre fate, but little King Creepy here is staring right at you.  He knows we’re here, and from his expression, has managed to completely detatch himself from his emotions, and could spring right out of the painting at a moment’s notice.  Why anybody would want this in their house is beyond me.  At least with the other two I can come up with something– the little negro boy could almost be considered a vintage piece of (rasist) Americana, and the chimp butler is almost funny, but this abomination… I tell no lie when I say that when I laid eyes on this horrid thing, I reflexively jumped back and shielded my eyes. 

Sleep well tonight.