06/08/2010

 is it summer? 
it’s strange not marking the summer by leaving school. by starting something anew. 
the fernweh hits again – the ache for distance. 
it’s that chronic ache – how it never goes away. I’m not aching to run away from what I have. 
i just fear that every day corporate america is not for me. 
but how could i do anything else? 
i could write. 
i could find something else, something like vampires and werewolves to cash in on. 
mediocre writing for a not so mediocre paycheck. 

there is so much to do. 
so much to see. 
and i feel drunk. or lost. vertigo? 
it word is spinning and just sitting here? 
i don’t know. 

it’s a strange feeling. so out of place – like i’m back in middle school or something. 
this life is wonderful. this love is perfect. i wake up to sweet kisses and coffee. 
i couldn’t ask for more. 
i am waiting for big things. 
so maybe I should start making them happen? its an immature thought, just waiting for things to fall in your lap. 

i’m not myself today. 
i don’t know what I need to shake this feeling. 
i think it’s the weather. 
i think it’s me.