Baby Chick.

I have an interview at Maine Medical for the CNA training.  I really hope they like me. If I get in, the classes are completely free. I need to get out my job. I am unhappy here.  I don’t want to be unhappy anymore.  This is just the beginning of finding happiness. Even though wiping asses and taking stool samples everyday isn’t what you would call sunshine and roses, there are opporunities there to move forward in a nursing career. I also think that I won’t go home feeling worthless for doing nothing everyday but getting shit on at my current job. The guests are assholes. The manager here is an asshole. My job is one big fat asshole.  I think once I do something with my life that’s worth doing, than I will care more about my life. I also think I would take better care of myself when it comes to health.  I think I am depressed, but I just don’t know. If I am, I am pretty good at covering it up with a fake smile. I never wanted a life where I cry everyday. I may as well be with Robbie again. Lonliness and the feeling of being a failure is just as bad. The one person who I can ever open up to is too busy to talk or spend time with me. Men who I actually WANT to date, don’t want nothing to do with me. I just feel like a big reject. The baby chick that goes down the wrong conveyor belt.