11/27/2011

He wouldn’t even kiss me tonight.  I tried, and he backed away as if he was disgusted. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.  Maybe the sex got boring, so he stopped being romantic, or stopped trying. I don’t know. I’m frustrated and upset, and I don’t want to hurt anymore. I shouldn’t even feel this way being what we are, right? Fuck friends.  I guess that’s all we are. I just know he takes up my whole heart, and it breaks more than ever now. 

I’m tired.  We put up the Christmas tree today. It’s beautiful. It’s white, with white lights, and blue glittery snowflakes, and bulbs. I love how it made me smile.