The Stress

Offensive content usually found within, read at own risk. No whiners.

The time I spent with my new neurologist last week was well worth it. She placed me back on Topamax, which is good for me for many reasons, and she also addressed the issue of my seizures from the last few years. She believes that since I have been able to stop my seizures, that they are not caused by my epilepsy, but by stress, which is altogether another serious issue. She says that whatever I’m doing, I need to do significantly less of it. So I’m working on it.

The problem with this lies with my mother. She has been leaning on me pretty heavily since Dad died. I’ve been basically working nonstop in order to try and get ahead, and as soon as I do, something happens with Mom and I have to go and help her, putting me as behind as I was and stressing me out. Even a simple phone conversation with her is stressful. She complains to me about everything, and seems to care little about anything in my own life. I’ll cite an example from just Friday evening–

-Mom: So, yeah, Adam is just irresponsible. Why can’t he just pitch in around the house and pay a bill every now and then? What is wrong with him? 

-Me: ……

-Mom: What are you doing tonight? Do you work?

-Me: No, I worked today. I had to work the front register because yesterday I broke my toe while I was cleaning. I have the weekend off though, so I’ll be able to be off it a good bit and hopefully be able to walk on it by Monday when I go back in.

-Mom: You broke your toe? Oh that’s awful. You know, I broke MY toe one time, and mom broke three of hers once. Old stupid Adam bladdy blahddy blah…

And so forth. That was the only concern she has shown for the first bone I’ve ever broken in my life. Nice.

She complains about everything, and then puts the stress off on me. I’m not a therapist. And my doctor told me to stop acting like one. She said to stop taking phone calls, and when people start whining to me, to get the hell outta the conversation as politely as possible. If they won’t leave me alone, force my way out. Anything to avoid the stress.

So, I sleep better, and I’m eating healthier. I don’t drink soda or caffeine anymore, which is killing me. The other day I was sniffing a pepsi can someone else was drinking like an old perv sniffs a teenager’s panties. It was sad. …ha..

Aside from all that, Zach and I decided that I should start investing in building a studio in our library for photo shoots. I think it could be a good idea, and over time I could develop quite a little business. It isn’t like I don’t have the outdoor environment or the indoor capabilities to do great work here. /shrug/ We’ll see what happens. I’m really excited. If anyone has any advice on any of that, lemme know. 😀

My toe, by the way, is doing significantly better than it was. It’s still painful, but I can mostly walk on it. If I walk too long on it, or on a hard surface, it hurts really bad and I start limping, but I think I’ll be able to handle work somewhat normally tomorrow evening. Just a little slower, I guess.

That’s my update. Till later..