Something of an update
I haven’t written a proper entry here in nearly four years. I can definitely say a lot has happened in that time.
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Since 2010, I’ve moved out of Milledgeville and to Covington. I moved with Zach into his grandparent’s old house that was vacant and for sale by his parents back in September of 2010. We got married in September of 2011, in what may have been the most well-planned and smoothest wedding ever done. It was beautiful, even if it wasn’t extravagant. We spent a week honeymooning in Helen before heading back into our lives as a married couple.
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I’ve left Walgreen’s (after five years), and through a series of unfortunate events I’ve found myself without work for the first time in a very long time. I wasn’t the one at fault for ending up this way, which is a comfort in some respects, but the not working has made me antsy while also encouraging my anti-social tendencies.
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I’ve recently found out that I am indeed a sociopath, a side effect, I guess, of my horrific upbringing coupled with my strong personality, which has helped me understand why I can’t make or keep friends, and how I can manage to lie so easily to people. It’s been something of a blessing, I guess, finding out that this is who I am. It encourages me to try and be better, which really goes against my desire to not. Zach is helping me try to relate more to normal people, teaching me manners and to maybe not say everything that comes to mind. I still feel painfully awkward around others and definitely find people in general to be exhausting, preferring to spend my time just hanging out with my husband, who understands me better than anyone else. There is progress though, as I’ve made a friend through a previous job, and my husband and I have hung out and had normal things like ‘game night’ with her and her fiancé. It’s weird, but seems like it’s the right thing. I’m always so exhausted, mentally, after being around people. I feel like I have to watch everything I say and do, in the hopes of not giving anything away. Overall, I’ve embraced my sociopathic nature, and am attempting to work my way out of it, though to do so, I believe I’d be the first person to succeed if I did.
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I also began pursuing my photography as a full-blown profession. I have a couple of great pro cameras, some good lenses, and solid education time coupled with a heavy chunk of experience to complement my natural talents. Business isn’t crazy, and certainly can’t replace a full time job, but I get work every so often and it enables me to pursue art projects and whatnot at my leisure. I have a huge project that will be completed at the end of this month, a fantasy piece using real people in surreal situations. That’s the hope, anyway, the look I want to achieve. If you want to follow it along, you can go to the facebook page where I do the photography stuff: facebook.com/picturefuntime.
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I’ve cut off all ties to my family, with the exception of a few people (a cousin, and my biological mother). Yes, this includes my adoptive mother, who, after all her nonsense and abuses while growing up, still can’t understand why I haven’t spoken to her in over a year. I guess my update also should include the passing of my brother, though I’m not sad about it. He killed himself in a police standoff after his fiancé and I took a disc of child pornography coupled with an accusation from her daughter about molestation. Coward. I guess the sociopath in me allows me to not feel for others in good ways and bad, because I feel nothing about my brother killing himself, but also, I couldn’t cry or feel when my father passed away, and I really should have. It protects me, but also hurts me. Heh.
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I suppose that’s all. I thought I would update here to just tell those who don’t keep up on other social media sites what’s been going on with me the last four years of my life. Again, if you want to keep in touch with me, send me a note and I’ll add you to my facebook. I hope all of you are doing well, and know that even though I don’t write, I do keep up with your entries, even if I only check on them once every six months or so.
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Mary
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