Your Voice In My Head

It’s always the same voice in my head,
A voice that makes me wish I was dead,
A voice of someone I care too much for,
A voice I need to learn to change or ignore.

Rarely, it’s a voice of a different person,
I wish those different voices would come more often,
It’s a rest from the internal turmoil,
Of hearing a voice that’s started to make my soul feel soiled.

For more than a year you haven’t been here,
So why the fuck must your voice stay so near,
Why has it decided to continuously rape me?
Why can’t my pathalogical mind just let me be.

So I suffer these mood swings,
And these bouts of depressions,
Coz eveb between us now things are sordid,
Only because you’ve been sick on meds, it’s been less shit,
But in a way, it’s also been more, over things I can’t ignore.

I need to get your voice out of my head,
You don’t even want to be here,
And I don’t want you in my head anymore either,
What can I do to get you out?
Coz it’s louder than my loudest scream or shout.

Considering you can never seem to hear or listen to me,
Why must I be plagued with your voice so constantly?

The End
sky Lark Crow
9.15pm 11th May 2006

***

I remember a warning from Dr. Guna, who’s a medical doctor who’s also a psychic channel (if you know or believe in those kind of things… I do because I’ve had experience with it all my life). Anyway, he told me that amongst other things I have to be very, very, very, careful about my mind. I’m quickly begining to understand what he meant by that. At the time I was thinking maybe he meant I’d set in with depression, being away and everything. That’s some of it, but it’s not the whole thing. My mind’s always somewhat worked against me. The constant fighting is getting to be such a drain. I love him, yeah, but I don’t want his voice in my head. He doesn’t love me, and he just shouldn’t be in here. That our friendship’s seems to be on a constant tightrope, probably COZ I’m pathological, makes it so much worst that I can’t seem to get his voice out of my hear. I keep talking to a voice, and it’s his, I DON’T WANT IT! GET OUT!

***

Winter is getting to me. Or Autumn is it now in Australia? Well the cold is getting to me.

And my fucked up mind is going to screw me upside down if I don’t find a way to gain control over it’s insanity.

I’m so incredibly tired of being me.

Oh bugger, he’s online.

*sigh*

Bye

God bless.

Sincerely,
Insane in The Brain