I don’t know why I keep doing this

            Fairies are the angels of the earth, gently reminding us to believe.

I believe that in life, there are things bigger than our own selves which we, or I live for. Dreams and ideals to meet and live up to.
Then there are the few people whom I selfishly need to keep to myself. Those whom I want with me when my moment of glory is realized. Because they’ve been a part of it, coz they’ve brought me closer to it, coz without them I would never have gone that far.
And whatever else my feelings for you are. You are a part of that they… A part of the precious ones I want to keep selfishly to myself and never let go of. That you’ll be there to share with me as well to share in those moments, to celebrate, for me to thank, because you are my friend. You are dear, so much that I always want to keep you near.
I’ve enjoyed the past couple of times talking to you. And though I’m uncertain of how far I can hold up to my side of the bargain, I’ll try to keep my promise to you, if I can get my friend back for doing that.
Coz for me to lose you for no other reason than this, would be a valid, yet great loss. So I’ll try to be nicer and keep to my side of things. Just help me out here ok?
Nightscamp’s coming back to Multiply I decided, but I won’t really return to yours, coz you know, scamps are trouble makers, specially night ones. I don’t wanna have that come between us yet again. You’re gaining your popularity anyway.
I’ve missed my friend.
I can’t promise to stay. I just promise that I’ll keep trying.

Catch you later.

*hugs*

Love & Light
Lanis

Actually I do know why I keep doing this. He means so much to me. We were having a pretty good conversation today over YM which he ends with "It’s not like you’re going to miss me anyway." and I wonder why he said that. Perhaps because I sent his this card… Which was actually meant to say that instead of the original plan which I told him of, that I’d be all nice and friendly til after he visits and we enjoy each others company again to just part and go our separate ways forever… That the new plan is for m to just stay his friend.

I’ll blame it on his cold and that he’s high on alcohol that he ended the chat that way. I don’t want to have another bad day thinking about the why. He can tell me later.

Otherwise, things have been good. Actually inclusive of that things have been good.

I just need to focus really, and not let things screw up over other stuff like this.

Okay I just got to sleep now.

G’day and God bless.

Sincerely,
Ambivalent