I Do Not Want To Be Taken Again
I don’t want to be taken again,
Not back into that place of pain,
Back into the depression and rain,
Into that darkness that drove me insane.
I found my way into the light,
The light was brought to me,
And life’s looking now so beautiful and bright,
All because of he.
For one person to have such an impact,
At times it can be a fearful fact,
I once loved a man who dimmed my light,
But now I love a man who has it blazing bright.
But there’s this thing inside of me,
That sometimes craves a taste of misery,
A dark little gnome of witchery,
That waits for the days to destroy me.
I don’t want it to take me again,
Not back onto that place of pain,
Where I lived in such darkness in vain,
Where I forgot the meaning of my own name.
I am so in love with you,
I just have to learn of what to do,
To keep us together and true,
For I do not want to be left by
Nor do I ever want to leave you…
The End
Sky Lark Crow
4.15pm 1st November 2006
***
Charles Bukowski once wrote,
‘There will always be something to ruin our lives. It all depends on what or which finds us first. We are always ripe and ready to be taken.’
***
Of course I had to tell Rav3n about Tbear… Its just something that I had to live with because I did that to myself and I knew even while it was going on that one day I’ll meet the man that Iove and I’ll have to explain why I let that happen to me with Tbear… So I told Rav3n about him and about how even though things went that way with him and I, Tbear will never be anything more than just a dear friend to me coz even to Tbear, he and I are just still friends, through everything we never wanted that to change anyhow. So I told Rav3n that anyhow, Tbear will always be my best mate coz I promised that I would never walk out on him and I never will, but it also doesn’t mean that I want to spend the rest of my life with Tbear. No, I want to be with Rav3n and no one else.
Anyway, Rav3n was a lil skeptical about it coz some other things were going on, and one day he asked me for Tbears pic and I sent it to him and he told me that Tbear looked really handsome and asked me if he was a really smart guy, and I said that Tbear was brilliant and really good at the work that he did. And Rav3n thought that since Tbear’s beautiful and smart that I’d want to go back to Tbear. He got an idea in his head that closer to our wedding, Tbear would suddenly out of jealosy get it into his head that he actually does love me and he’ll try to take me away from Rav3n. And Rav3n said that it was never his role to come between people and seemed to be telling me that he thought I’d be in a dilema if Tbear came up to me with that.
But no, firstly I don’t think that that would ever happen because Tbear’s heart was never with me, and he never wanted to have a future with me in the first place. And secondly, I would never leave Rav3n for Tbear. I certainly won’t let someone pull me away from the man I love and the man who loves me for myself and who didn’t need something else to pound it into his head that he wants to be with me… Well maybe he did need something else, but he didn’t need for me to be happy with someone else before he realized that he and I could have something special. We had it before and the only thing that came between us was the distance and the idea that it was something that we couldn’t breech because we were still kids. As soon as he realized that the distance wouldn’t be a problem as long as he and I wanted it to work, he came back to me. And I love him even more.
Anyway, I convinced him that I would never leave him for Tbear or anyone else for that matter. And that’s just the whole truth. I cannot leave the source of light and joy in my heart… He’s already seated in the center of my heart adn to try to remove him from there would be the death of me coz I’ll just bleed and never stop bleeding.
Come 5th November I’ll tell my dad about Rav3n. I know that his initial reaction isn’t going to be good. But I am hoping and praying that it won’t take long for dad to come around and realize that this is the best thing to ever happen to me and that my future is with Rav3n. I know that my dad loves me and wants me to be happy, so I hope that he’ll see that i will be truly happy with Rav3n.
Wish me luck!
God bless
Sincerely,
The Rav3n’s Crow