Knotted Timeline

I reach back into the past
And remember what once was
But can’t bring it back

Who I thought I was
How it felt to be me, in brief moments
I dream about
Even if it was all a sham

Why does the world indulge my fantasy
That cannot be real (?)
I still think fondly of those who have forgotten me
I don’t know why

Trying to actively forget, but passively remember
The images that haunt my dreams
Things that never happened
Or re-imagining things that did

Janus only knows
But he tells me nothing when I ask
What happens now (?)
Each step forward is a step back