What Time & Drugs Do

I’ve been putting off writing because of my last few entries … I talked about Ashley coming back and how it was going to be wonderful to have my best friend back … help her get her life in order …

But when she came back she came with so much emotional baggage … Which I was ready for … but she also came back with meth.

The day she was supposed to pick up her kids at 5PM, it turned to 11PM and she didn’t actually show up until 1:25AM after me telling her repeatedly her 5 year old son was shaking he was crying so hard because “His mom abandoned him.” Why would he say that? How often does this happen? Then when she came, she picked him up but left her daughter Amber.

She came back the next day (Friday) after my husband told her off, I got her in for an interview here at work – He hired her on the spot and she was to go in Tuesday for fingerprinting and background check. I thought this is it, I can help her get back on track. We were supposed to hang out this weekend but she slept until like 9PM … I didn’t really get much out of her.

Yesterday, Brandon tells me she didn’t show up for fingerprinting so I walk over to her dads house … she wasn’t there and he had to go to work … didn’t want to leave the kids alone … So I start making plans for them to go to my house but when I called him back he said he got a hold of her and she was on her way.

So I get off of work and walk over there … and Amber is there alone. She didn’t have a phone or anything. So if something happens there was no one to call. I told her I was running to the store and I would be back. I got somethings for us to eat and headed back over there. Why would she pick up Aiden and not Amber? … Again … How do you think that little girl feels? When I got back there Chez was there to pick her up. Long story short Ashley had gone up there for money was throwing a dramatic tantrum and Chez told her to rest and he would pick up Amber. She broke her phone.

I got a call from her last night saying I love you and goodbye.

She wants to kill herself said she can’t do this anymore. I don’t know, this whole thing has left me drained. How much can you help someone that doesn’t want help? There is so much more and I just don’t even have words for it right now. I’m just … What happened??