I Need Help

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I have a good life. Things are going really well for me. I really shouldn’t complain.

But I can’t shake the feeling that it would be so much better if I was dead.

I don’t know where to start, or who to call. Thinking about it just makes me feel worse. I know feeling this way is wrong, and that it’s okay to need help. I know everything you’re supposed to know. I know better.

I don’t want to bother anyone.

Do I need to go to my regular doctor first? I have no money. How would I get there? What’s wrong with me? Do I stick it out at work today? Will that help? Should I just go home? Why do I feel this way. Why can’t I suck it up? I’ve been doing it for years. You have to keep going.

I am only writing this because writing seems to help. I need help.