Don’t Even Try Me Bro

I put out a cigarette at 3:00PM yesterday. I had planned on buying one last pack, then quitting this morning. But the money I had had in my account was less than when I had checked that morning and I did not have enough money for the last pack. Well I did, but I would have had to take it out of Kat’s lunch money. Which I debated inside my head back and forth all night. I cried a little. I didn’t do it.

I get paid tomorrow, but it’s a rent check, and it doesn’t have overtime on it because of my vacation. My phone bill is higher because I used data in Vegas more than wifi, and one of my credit card bills is due early and other little odds and ends …

Hold on, a resident needs  show me sugar packets.

Anyway, with bills and the expected amount of this check I will have like 20 bucks to my name until the next pay day on the 6th … so it is best if I quit now anyway, because I won’t have any freaking money but I am cranky as all hell. I have to quit completely cold turkey, and last time I quit (For a year and 8 months) I sucked on these vitamin C drops … and it helped. But suck candy has a lot of sugar and carbs and I don’t want to go backwards with the weight. Which by the way I am down 93 pounds.

So I am cranky and whiny and emotional and I told Nick he is going to have to take it like a champ for 3-4 days and he said he would but this morning he was already getting testy with me. My breathing feels better already but I feel like ripping my skin off. I wish I could just sleep for the next few days and get a lot of it out of my system.

In other news, Anthony (Kat’s bio dad) hit me up again. Said he broke it off with his girl Angel, and he is trying to come up with money to come back to Minnesota. Good thing I don’t have any money though. But even by the time I do that really needs to be used for holiday gifts and what not. I bought a couple of giving plates in February (for real cheap!) Giving plates, if you do not know – Are plates with cute sayings on them, about how the plate doesn’t actually have an owner. You just fill the plate and pass it on to the next person. I think I bought 4 or 5 of them. I was going to look in the closet last night but I took a sleeping pill and went to bed early.

Anyway, the plan when I got them was that was what I was going to do for my work friends. Like Gail and Amy. I can make some Keto cookies for Gail and some regular ones for Amy. I dunno, maybe that’s what I will do for Nick’s mom too. I told Nick he isn’t getting anything cool this year, he is getting what I want him to have. Which is a nice pair of pajama’s. I keep buying him the best gifts and then he doesn’t freaking use them. I know he will wear some comfy pjs. Or clothes. But last year I bought him jeans that actually fit him and he only has worn them about 3 times.

Man likes his sweatpants.

Worried about clothes cause he keeps teetering back and forth on doing Keto with Kat and I … so if he loses weight I don’t want to have to redo all of our wardrobes.

This entry is all over the place but I feel like I am all over the place so I guess it fits.

ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAR!