sad today.

i got a phone call on monday from zach’s mom.  she got him two interviews at the business where she works for this friday. he left this morning and just called me to let me know he arrived in west palm.

he’ll hopefully be making at least 14 dollars an hour, which is a great start for him.  i know that he is doing this not for himself but for us.  he wants to provide for us, for our future family.  at the same time though, i am so scared of losing him that i am having a very hard time already with him being gone.  hopefully i’ll be able to get down there in a few weeks during my winter break from classes.  i don’t think i could go any longer without seeing him.

i know with all my heart that he is my one and only.  i know that he loves me and this decision is not a selfish one.  i know that in a years time, i will hopefully be able to move down there with him, or he will move back her, a better man than when he left.  he needs this time away to rediscover not only his faith, but who he truly is.  not the angry alcoholic he sometimes eminates.  i know that inside him there is a beautiful soul, maybe i am the only one blessed enough to see that part of him, but i know it’s there. 

it just sucks that i can’t take this journey with him.  instead i am stuck here without very many good friends, and without the person that means everything to me.  i have to concentrate on school so i can graduate on time.  so i can start my life, and follow my dreams.

today is day 1.

p.s. i totally dropped my cell phone in a freaking puddle yesterday and it finally died on me.  i hated it anyway, but i am up for an upgrade in april.  plus, my last two cell phones prior to this one were also lost due to water damage…only from toilets.  me + cell phone + any source of water = bad news.