[[82]] liberation. *e*

i’m bringing sexyback.

fredi (the EX boyfriend) decided that it would be a good idea to talk shit about my to my best friend’s boyfriend. BAD IDEA. really bad.

for one, you don’t talk shit about me, period. two, you do not tell anyone that i didn’t love you, and that i only said it to say it, and that i will never be okay because you were my first. third, don’t give me the password to your myspace, because i will probably fuck it up. 🙂

basically, he told my best friends boyfriend that if i loved him i would be there. that i only said i loved him to say it and that i will never find anyone else because i lost my virginity to him.

sorry, but that’s not quite how it goes. if he loved me like he said he did, he would have chose me…not weed. he would have realized that those last two weeks of him smoking and me crying were the end, and he should have done something. i tried, but i failed. he shouldn’t have had sex with me time after time and just got up leaving me feeling used and alone. if he loved me, he wouldn’t have let me walk away like that. he would have hung out with me and my friends so that i didn’t neglect them (like i ended up doing), and he would have come to meet my family when i asked him too. he would have been a PART of my life, not my ENTIRE life for those six months.

i may have lost my virginity to him, but i certainly did not lose myself. i will find someone who deserves me. i will find someone who is capable of loving me. i will. and i won’t let him stand in my way.