[[76]] emo.
don’t ever as a girl to control her emotions while she is menstrating. also, don’t ask her if you can do something you know that upsets her when she is on her period because you KNOW that she is going to get emotional.
so basically, the boyfriend confessed to me that he is going to start smoking weed again. this severely upsets me everytime he mentions it, for several reasons.
1) i firmly believe that weed (like alcohol) is good in moderation, and to me moderation is something like a small amount once a week. he wants to smoke 2 to 3 times a week. that in my opinion is addiction. i do not deal with addiction. i will not put myself through the perpetual hell that my mother went through with my father and his alcoholism. sure, things are fine now, but it to 25 years of hell to get there.
2) weed is a mind-altering substance. therefore, it makes one act differently. i like my boyfriend the way he is. in fact, i love the way he is. i don’t want weed to change that, therefore changing my opinion of him therefore changing our relationship. our relationship is wonderful. it does not need nor deserve to be changed.
3) i have never been around drugs or alcohol much. they make me extremely uncomfortable. this is not ignorance. this is truth. if doing something makes the one you love uncomfortable, then you should not do it. yes?
i explained all this to him. i cried. he told me i was being ridiculous and that i basically know nothing about life. yes, i have not lived the life he has. no, i haven’t experienced lots of drugs or alcohol. and i like it that way. i like my life without substances. i cherish it. i do not want it to change. i do not want to lose him. i do not want to be with some lazy, pot-smoking, dickwad boyfriend. i want my energetic, clean, loving boyfriend. is that really so much to ask?
to top it off, he has a lump in his testicle. yes, a lump. it could be one of many things. one of those many is cancer. the fact that my 25 year old boyfriend mind have cancer, mind you a very serious cancer, scares the living shit out of me. i do not want to imagine one single day without him in my life and the thought of losing him to cancer or to an addiction seriously frightens me.
so duh, i’m emotional. what do you expect?
I completely understand where you’re coming from.. But, boyfriends are “boys” and they don’t know much more than what’s happening in the ‘moment’ .. lol, they have short attention spans and play with ‘toys’ their entire life. *shrugs* They’ll never understand us.. or why we are the way we are.. they think that saying “i love you” fixes everything.. when it doesn’t. (random noter)
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i’m sorry. you should really let him read this. or something. i hope things clear up. *hugs*
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Pot, like alcohol, is fine in moderation. It will change him irrevocably if he smokes it too frequently. For a time, I lost control of myself with substances. It took a great deal of personal will power (which few people have) to stop myself from abusing them and go back to enjoying them in moderation. Talk to him again. Let him know your concerns, and personally, I’d end the relationship with himif that’s his attitude (at 25, he hasn’t lived THAT much more than you have, so it’s hardly a valid argument). Pot/alcohol are nothing to be trifled with. They are as dangerous as any controlled substance when not carefully used. If he’s so casual about using them, I’d be just as casual about leaving him forever. You don’t want any part of that in your future. You’re better than that and you deserve better than someone who’d so callously brush aside your concerns for him. -R
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he should REALLY get that lump in his balls checked out :^o
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I’m sorry. *hugs*
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he took a really bad time to tell you, hope your ok xxx
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