Night #1 without him

He left at 5am, I’ve been up ever sense. I kept myself as busy as I could today but even so I had moments of extreme sadness. Something as stupid as finding a claw clip of mine that he wears sent me to tears. So I shoved it in a drawer, got back up and started manically cleaning my kitchen. Stay busy, I have to stay busy. 3 months to go. Day one, done. I finally understand the expression “one day at a time”. If I think about how long it will be until I get to hold him I think I would crumble. So for now I’ll try to just take it day by day, pushing the timeline out of my head the best I can.