Time to type…

Month between entires yet again!

And yet again, I find the time to write when I’m pissed off and angry.  Never do I write when I’m happy!  Why is that?  Why can’t I remember the good as well as the bad?  Could be an entry all to itself.

But yes I’m mad.  Mad as f’ing hell!!!  Here’s the situation:  It seems that someone has something against me.  It seems that this someone can’t get past the fact that she helped me out once or twice.  I can’t give away too much detail here… as much as I’d like… but let’s just say I hit a couple of "low" points in my life over the past year and a half.  I wasn’t doing drugs or stealing or ripping tags off matresses or anything like that.  I was sick… fighting a yet undiagnosed mental disease.  It was hard… very hard.  And this person was there for me to help me get thru… helped me get back on my feet.  It was the least she could do.

Well time has passed and it has emerged that someone has a chip… a big ‘ol angry chip on their shoulder.  Whenever this person gets mad at me… which seems to be a lot lately… she decides to throw in my face that "You’re lucky I stayed with you thru all of that!" and, my new personal favorite "You’re fucking crazy!  Always pulling the psycho shit!"  And I can understand maybe saying this once.  God I’m sure their is an earlier entry complaining over the same thing.  I have been mad before, but seem to give in or get over it or try to be the bigger person about it.  Well it happens again and again… and it happened yesterday on what was supposed to be a birthday celebration.  Nope.  Put a few drinks in her and suddenly this anrgy, bitter, nasty, bitchy and out-and-out hateful person emerges, and this person has their sights set on me.   I’m not an unreasonable guy.  I don’t ask for much.  I give everyone a chance (which may be part of the problem).  But you know what, ENOUGH IS A FUCKING ENOUGH!  Seriuosly?  How far do you need to push me till I snap?

Well, I’m not backing down this time… fuck no!  This is an issue that she needs to deal with.  And note I said she… she always seems to try and make this my fault that I’m the one who causes it all.  nope.  Not this time… it’s all her and I’m truly calling her out.

So what do I do?  I have to admit that divorce actually popped into my mind.  It scared me, but I think it was just from thinking about how you would deal with a person that at times displays traits that are very unattractive.  VERY unattractive!  I’m actually disgusted quite really.  I always believed that you should give for the sake of giving, not for the sake you give and expect something in return because they "owe ya’ one" for helping them out.  No… you might as well not give in my opinion.

I guess I’m just going to have to lay this all out and see what happens.  I’ll probably get the typical angry response and will have to go from there.  But I need to stand my ground!

That helped… I better come back in tomorrow.