Still tired…

God I am still just exhausted.  I don’t wanna do anything because I just don’t have the energy.  I need sleep.  What will it take for me to just get some sleep.  I’m sick of tossing and turning.  My last good day of sleep was last week and that was one of the only days in a while.  I would hope that as I sit here and write that I can work out all of my issues and avoid the nightmares and dreams.  Doesn’t seem to work very much though.

Was back to work today… well yesteday.  Shift went well.  Sad to say that no one really even noticed I was gone.  I think I had only one email addressed to me personally and absolultely no mail.  Sad.  It’s even more sad that I’m so lonely that I long for friggin mail at work.  My cousnelor type talked about me being isolated from people the other day.  I am really isolated, but what can i do.  I can’t handle my wife, I can’t handle going out, I can’t handle socializing… I’m either too tired or too angry.

I really need sleep.

I need to talk to someone.  I mean I do talk to my counselor type, but I need more interaction with people.  Oh, and here’s a good one.  I’ve finally been builiding up a good relationship with my counselor and I found out this week I can only see her for two more sessions.  Some stupid fucking rule about you can’t see them more than 6 times and you have switch or something… id on’t know.  The mental health care in this socialist country is dreadful.  And then they keep playing all these ads on TV about "Be aware of your mental health!"  HA… I swear to god I want to throw the heaviest object I can find straight thru the TV.  Aware my ass…

I have to get myself in check.  Eating right, on schedule, exercising, finding something to pass the time.  The usual.  I’ll give it another go.