Same old…

I’m a mix of everything right now.  Little bit sad… a lot sad…. A lot angry.  I don’t understand what to do.  I don’t know how to handle her anymore.  Nothing productive comes from her mouth, it’s all negative stuff and yet I take the blame for all of it.  What am I supposed to do?  I don’t want to talk because if we talk it ends up the same old crap of her acting like a child and me being pushed to the point where I want to strangle her.  What to do?  I mean we have to talk at some point but I don’t know how to talk to her.  I guess we’ll have to do it at some point, and it’s going to have to be in front of someone.  There is no way we can sit together and act civil.  Well I think that I probably could but she wouldn’t.  It’s sad but it would be nice to have a witness to it… it being her bitchy attitude.  It would prove to me and others that it’s just not me causing all the problems that someone would see her childish attitude.  I will have to back down and go to counseling without her going on her own first.  It’s becoming more and more obvious that she doesn’t care enough about herself or us to go on her own, so I need to be the bigger person and just go.  Granted I think it will fail because I think her issues are more deeply rooted than mine, but what can I do.  I’ve made the offer and she has to deal with it.