words to my self

so that’s how it happends in my stupid country:you fight and get your ass kicked before you graduate,than if you got a high grade some schools call you to pass some tests and if you could succed than you can efficially be a student in that specific school.

now,maybe that’s happening in other countries but I discoverd in least you were einstein or some huge miracle happend or you were the one who wrote the test there is no way you can pass or let’s just say that at least that’s the case for me.

today socks while I was in the extra hours feeling sorry for my self and feeling like the most stupid and idiot person in the university,while people believe in them selves,believing they can do it,here I am doing the same thing I did since the start of this year,I swear this is the worse year in my whole life beside the fact I graduated.I hate 2012,I hate it,I’m sorry but I needed to say it.

so for this occasion there is a few words I want to tell to my self,I don’t believe in them and I can’t mean them but any how:

until when you gonna keep feeling sorry for your self?when you gonna have the courage and the power to stand and fight for what you want?so what!you’re stupid when it comes to maths and physics and school generally but you can do it,you only have to wok hard and stop your fear from controlling your life.isn’t enough that your mom noticed that you’re not happy and now even that she travelled she can’t be happy because her daughter who was supposed to be thrilled after she graduated is depressed instead.you have two choices even that you gonna stop been shy and stop caring about fucking stupid people and move on than stand on your feet and fight,tell them that you’re there and you may be an idiot and a pain in the ass but the have no choice but suck it;or you can walk away if you think you can’t handle it and give up your dream of getting to med school until you fegure out this not excistence of confidence problem that you have because GOD knows you can’t keep up like this,feeling like shit and not doing any thing about it.

before.i.fall

July 2, 2012

<3 want to talk about it ?

under-grace

Thank you for your notes 🙂 I’m glad you like the pictures and that my entry was right in timing. You know, sometimes, it’s hard to control our feelings. You can’t help but feel sad. But you know what else? It’s not over yet. They always say, it’ll be okay in the end? If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end. You can do this. I know sometimes you tell yourself you can’t do it, but don’t let fear…

…ever get in the way of your dreams. I know you can do it. I feel the same way, and sometimes I feel like a hypocrite when I say words like this, but just know that I’ll be fighting alongside you okay? 🙂 We’ll be fighting together. 2012 isn’t over yet. Don’t give up hope on it just yet 🙂 You know, in this entry, I can see the strength in you. Fight, because you’ll make it 🙂 God has…

…confidence in you 🙂 I learned a long time ago (even if I forget it at times) that God puts the heaviest weight on the people He knows that can carry it. You can carry this weight, and you’ll make it through 🙂 You got this, and God will be lending you His strength along the way. Remember: Philippians 4:13! 😀 Have a nice day and keep smiling!

July 3, 2012

Please don’t give up. Don’t think about letting me down. Just do what you can because that’s already enough 🙂 It doesn’t have to be incredible achievement. As long as you’re doing what you can to make it through; it’s enough. God knows how much you are trying and how hard you are working. Don’t give up on yourself because you really can do this.

Do you know why God still still continues to wake you up? Because He has a plan for you. You’re here for a reason and we all know that you will do GREAT THINGS someday, even if it doesn’t seem so now. Don’t give up. When it’s your time to go to Heaven, God will tell you, “Well done.” Right now, He wants you to complete a mission. It may be confusing now, but it will all make sense in the end.

Just hang on. You can do this 🙂 And don’t ever worry about letting me down because I can see how hard you are trying. I really do, and that’s enough for me to see how strong you are, as well as how much stronger you will be in the future. You can do this. Hang on tight <3