March 8, 2012

in case you want to kill me

let’s start with the language.I’m not english,american,canadian or australian or any country where they speak english.and for that reason I do all kind of mistakes of english.gramar.vocabulary.so please don’t blame me.I’m actually for a girl who’s not born english very good at it.

yes.I’m probably fake but who isn’t? even a little.it’s not like I tell lies in OD believe me everything I write is true here.

I gived up because I don’t know what to do any more.I tryed faking it till make it but I’m done.I’m done with smiling and been optimistic about everything and say that I’m the best and I can do it.well I’m not sure about that any more.for the first time in my life I actually think I’m gonna fail a class I may not graduate and I’m gonna be stuck at high school while every one passes.

as much as every one get better I get more down than I was.I hate my self and I want have some desease that will kill me before the school over at least I’m gonna have a reason than to be sad.

I cryed for the past 2 days like hell and I have a maths test tomorow.

everything’s about school even mom knows there is something wrong.talking about them, how I’m ever gonna be able to look at them if I didn’t pass.I should make them proud of me.I’m the oldest one.they count on me.everyone counts on me.

but here I am.

something big suppose to happen right now.GOD should send me some good news to fix this like suddenly I can go and study in germany or suddenly I’m like the brilliant student at all subjects or any thing will change this situation but nothing.I prayed to him but no answer.so I stoped praying and thinking about praying.

just for the record if I feel bad for my self no one can make me feel better.if someone told me he loves me I wouldn’t cear because I hate me.I’m not good or biautiful or smart even if you say so.in case any one want to kill me just ask and I’ll give you my adress because belive me you’ll be doing a big favour for me.

xthetruthx

March 10, 2012

ryn hey. how did people ruin your life? why does ur spirit feel so tired? 🙁 xx

Hi girl sry for not replying but i wasn’t opening internet as i was so busy but now i will be back once i finish what i have bec i am not having enough time for studying& for staying on the comp! Anyway how are u?! Bec i am not reading ur od so i don’t know anything abt u are things going on well with u?! + i am sure u will understand physics once u tell urself i cAn do it u can understand ….,

Physics but if the teacher can explain it to u in a simple way! Do write me& let me know abt ur news! I will see it once i open from my mob! (i am taitanic:)

taitanic

March 16, 2012

Oh my god! Sorry 4 not being in ur side! Ok i’m not american or born with english very good so it’s okay it’s not of a big deal! But when it comes to u are feeling that u are going to fail in ur school or high school. It’s a bad feeling but when u say that u don’t understand anything or u fail in everything this may make u a hopeless person! Plz have hope try hard to achieve more! Don’t stop……

Encouraging ur self from being a better person! Don’t say u aren’t smart blablabla by the way nobody is perfect but try to have hope at least if u don’t have hope inurself plz plz have hope in god! It has happened toe that i stopped praying bec god didn’t answer my prayers but it’s not what u should do bec now i am praying bec u know what?! It’s not that he’s not answering u at all but it’s that..

He is testing u or he is telling u just wait & i will give u something bigger! Going& studying in germany or what so ever could not be suitable for u! U must leave god giving u what he wants & i ‘m sure what jesus is giving u will be the suitable thing for u,even uf u won’t realise that it’s the good thing at first! Can i ask u something?! Plz don’t give up hope plz plzzzz ! Don’t stop praying….

Just hold on! Keep praying even if u feel there is no answer right now but u will have an answer! Do u have a bible?! I’m sure god will send u a msg through the bible or through a friend or ur mum! If je wants to send u a msg right now u will get it but keep hope in urself! Don’t hate urself u are a normal teenager can u promise me not to hate ur life+ to pray to god?! Plzzz?! I will open tomo….

Froom my mobile just to see ur reply! Asslan i opened today to see replies!! God be with u girl <3