Taking a personal day.
Working two jobs is NOT fun. Damn.
Especially when your Full Time gig is stressing you out SO bad, and your part time gig doesn’t pay enough to make it worth it.
Blah.
I’m stressing right now.
I’ve now worked at a hotel in the restaurant for about a year and two months. I started as a server, and while I’m still serving, I’ve moved up to Food and Beverage/Event Coordinator, as well as a self-proclaimed "supervisor". I say self-proclaimed, because I am damn near running that place right now.
After a manager drought for about 8 months, one was finally hired — precursored as a "people person". Yeah, sure, people person she may be–but she’s (for lack of better words) FUCKING TERRIBLE at her job.
She gets away with the other supervisor and I running the place. When we are there, we run a tight ship. She’s the type that doesn’t show up to work until 10 or 11, and leaves at around 6. It’s absolutely pathetic. Having been in the restaurant industry, let alone the hotel industry, putting in 50 or 60 hours a week is NORMAL for a manager. In fact, any less is looked down upon.
Not to mention, she doesn’t see how hard I am working; not only that, she’s cutting my hours.
It’s absolutely pissing me off, especially since she’s giving hours to these new employees?! Who are underneath me?! What the fuck.
I’ve put too much hard work and time into that place. But, as I grow older, I am beginning to realize one very crucial thing: LIFE ISN’T FAIR.
I swear, at age 25, I have finally learned about half of the lessons I was meant to learn in terms of society today, human interaction and having a general sense of being an overall decent person. It’s been tough, and I’m finding that things are MUCH easier if you just go with the flow. For a person, such as myself who tries to control every situation and gets very frustrated when they CAN’T, that shit is hard to do. It’s hard to let things fall into place; not letting things get to you; focusing on yourself and your integrity.
Now moving onto my OTHER job. I work in the retail/merchandise department for the MLB team here in my town. It’s been fun; however, since my duties at the hotel have been upped, as well as working 50+ hours most weeks, I had to tell my manager that I couldn’t work as many games. She schedules me accordingly, but if you’ve worked in the hotel industry, you know just about ANYTHING can happen; things get scheduled, events get thrown together last minute, etc. So sometimes she’ll schedule me, and that day I have to tell her I can’t come in–makes me feel bad and VERY guilty.
Today, to be quite honest, I just don’t want to fucking work. Yet I feel guilty!
My boyfriend, who is in the Front Office for this MLB team, constantly tells me to not feel guilty. He KNOWS how hard I work, how many hours I put into the hotel, and he also knows that I somewhat resent this job due to the fact it’s ruining my fandom. The team I work for, is my whole life. My happiness rides on their overall success. Working for them has RUINED that. 🙁 Not to mention, it’s taking away from my personal life!
Speaking of my boyfriend…
I’ve posted SEVERAL Open Diaries about various boyfriends. First was Rian, then was Deric, then was Jason. All ended for their rightful reasons; for instance, Rian beat me and was a terrible boyfriend, Deric was way too into himself and his future (but was probably the best boyfriend of the three), Jason was a low-life loser, living in his parents’ basement with no expectations and was kind of an asshole.
Then I met Mitchell. And my world changed.
I can’t believe I thought ANY of these guys were the one. Seriously. Funny story about Mitchell, he actually came along while I was dating Jason. We started harmlessly texting and Facebooking last November after meeting while working together for the MLB team; he would event manage tailgates for NFL football and I would work in the team store.
Talking occasionally on Facebook chat, mostly about baseball, ended up in the exchanging of numbers. I didn’t feel guilty because he was, and is, basically a coworker. However, and mind you, I’m still in a super dysfunctional and very messed up relationship with Jason, texting once a day turned into day long texting sagas. By January, I could tell he REALLY liked me. I started going to his house and hanging out with him, because Jason was "sick" or some dumb shit, and despite the fact that Jason lived 3 miles from my house, we NEVER hung out. EVER.
So after work, I would go and hang out with Mitchell. Mostly we would just watch TV or talk or whatever. Did this for about a month. I felt like I was starting to like him. I mean, what’s not to like? An AMAZINGLY sweet guy, brand new nice car (materialistic I know, but Jason DIDN’T have a car), supported himself, has a nice apartment, a full time GREAT job, college graduate–but above all, just made me happy.
January 2012–we have our big
FanFest event at the ballpark where virtually every employee is. Of course, Mitchell is very busy as it’s a huge event. But he still managed to come talk to me every now and then in my store. I remember seeing him, and it was a split second but I REALLY saw him–and realized, I liked him. Not just liked him… but REALLY liked him. Then I found myself in a pickle.
For the next two months, Mitchell–world’s sweetest, most moral guy–found himself in a pickle too. He was willing to do WHATEVER it took to steal me from my boyfriend. One day after work at the MLB park, I found a handwritten letter on my car. It was him professing his love to me. LOL. I actually am reading it right now. My favorite line(s):
"And just like that I’m back to talking about how crazy about you I am. Given the circumstances that may be counterproductive and I know some of my friends think I am crazy for sticking with it, but I can’t blame them I guess. But if they felt this way they would do the same. I don’t know. Something just tells me not to give up on you. That you’ll come around. That someone this special doesn’t come around twice and that maybe, just maybe it is even meant to be."
Sorry to get all dramatic with the italicization, lol, but seriously. He wrote that. When I still had a boyfriend. It was hard for a bit; I didn’t want to end things with Jason for Mitchell just like that, even though the whole time I knew I HAD to. I mean, Jason was a train wreck. Finally, Jason ended things with ME! So I went in for the kill on Mitchell, no turning back. We made it official VERY soon. Some people frowned upon that, said I should take some time for myself, that it wasn’t good for me to move so quick, etc.–however, it worked out perfectly.
Mitchell is my prince charming. He’s the type of guy who wipes away my tears, holds me when I’m sad, calms me down when I’m worked up (which lately with work, happens a lot), takes good care of me, cooks for me, cuddles with me, let’s me sleep with him whenever, goes on trips with me, hangs out with my family, takes me to dinner whenever I want, tells me I’m beautiful ALL THE TIME, texts me for no reason just to say hi and tell me to have a good day, watches whatever I want on TV or Netflix (even Gossip Girl 🙂 )… and so much more. It’s been six months since we made it official. And for the first time EVER in a relationship for me, I grow happier and happier every day.
Funniest part about Mitchell? He never played baseball. Doesn’t have bulging muscles. Isn’t tall, dark and handsome. Doesn’t go out and get drunk with the buddies. He likes photography, Harry Potter, and Star Wars–and no, he’s not gay. LOL. He’s just different.
Another great part to this story? About 2 or 3 weeks after Jason breaks up with me, and Mitchell and I are just starting our relationship–he crawls back to me, proclaiming that he made a mistake and he wanted me back. I met up with him a couple times to let him "get it out" but was very unafraid to look him square in the face and very politely say: "Fuck. No. Bitch."
Anyway, apart from my work woes, Mitchell makes me so ridiculously happy. I don’t have to fret too much about work knowing I have him to come home to. 🙂
Wow! That was a good life update.
I was gonna switch gears a bit, still on the work topic–but our restaurant services will be closing come November and won’t reopen until March. Do I take the chance of being miserable and come back, thus resorting to unemployment and maybe picking up some part time server gig? Or do I attempt to find something permanent and long term with another hotel?
We’ll see.
Anyway, damn, I’ve written a lot.
I’ll talk to you all VERY soon, much sooner than I have been 🙂
Much love!
-Elle.