Not feeling myself
I’m about 7 weeks post-partum and I’m feeling… just bleh.
From a health perspective, to start – I still am having some post-birth complications (minor ones) which are just annoying. This means I can’t be as active as I’d like to be… which, I’m ready to get back to exercising and being healthy again. This is a major buzzkill. A lot of this has to do with my own BS – I started exercising WAY too hard about 4 weeks PP which is why I have to scale back, but boo. I’m ready to be active again, especially since I just bought a Peloton treadmill!
On another health note – since I am on maternity leave, I’ve been taking care of appts which has been great! Things that I’ve wanted to do but just… haven’t been able to or prioritized. I finally went to a dermatologist for a skin cancer check – my mom has had to have several spots removed (Irish family skin), and I had (what I thought) was a questionable mole on my abdomen. Well, turns out- the questionable mole is fine, but I DID have a bad mole on my calf! That I need to get removed next Thursday. On a scale of 1 to 4 (1 being just a mole, 4 being melanoma) – it was a “2”. Which, I’m incredibly grateful for. Not even pre-cancerous, but with exposure, can become cancerous. Sometimes, God works in mysterious ways. I would have NEVER checked that mole ever – it’s on the back of my calf for crying out loud! So while I’m grateful that I caught it, it’s still a bit of added stress.
Also quite inconveniently, my husband’s (only) employee quit – while I was in labor, literally, lol. So – he basically didn’t get a paternity leave. It’s fine, he’s been working from home a lot – and his job is unique, best way I can describe it – and that’s been kind of annoying. He’s been going into work a lot and that leaves me at home with baby everyday. Which, is fine – but I’m bored. SO bored. I love my daughter SO much but the lack of structure right now is really affecting my mental health. ESPECIALLYYYY since I can’t workout, which usually helps? LOL. Anyway. I’m meant to be a working mother, that’s for sure. I am not a very effective person just at home everyday. I go back to work on June 27th, and boy, am I pumped!
Anyway, just tough with these weird little things to feel like myself. Just kind of in a blah mood right now, not feeling great lookswise, can’t do a whole lot, kind of stuck at home in a mundane routine. It’ll pass soon, I know that. But I still have another month. Need to find some hobbies. Haha.
On the plus side – the house we are building will be done July 22nd! Thank goodness – we have massively outgrown our house. Our little baby doesn’t have a bedroom so her changing station is literally on our couch. LOL. Also, Taren’s playroom is our living room. Basically there is shi* everywhere and it’s a cluttered mess, which is also probably why I hate being at home. Haha. Anyway – I’m excited for enough bedrooms (including a guest suite), a workout room, a playroom/den, and then of course a wing of the house with a primary suite also. I say wing as if I’m moving into a mansion – I’m DEFINITELY not ya’ll, haha – the way they designed this house though is perfect when you have kids cuz there’s an entire primary en-suite that’s just blocked off. Haha. “Mama needs some me time!”
Life is still very good… I just am ready to feel like myself again. I felt it a lot when I was pregnant, the last year or so, especially with my new job which has been nice. But post partum, not so much. Could be a touch of PPD, but overall am in an okay spot. Will just keep an eye on it.
Hope ya’ll are doing well!
Much love,
~Elle.