An Explanation

The Idiot.

No, not Dostoevsky. Elif Batuman, rather.

I mean, I’ve read Dostoevsky. That’s just not what I am referencing.

“I think your atom, it will never go back to peace, to cereal or rocks or anything like that. Once it has been seduced there is no way back. That seduced atom has energies that seduce people, and these rarely get lost. I summon you words, o my stars. Without you there is nothing.”

My 21 year old past self lived this, and now it resonates with me so deeply.

“You say you’re not in the mood for insignificant subtleties. But insignificant subtleties are the only difference between something special, and a huge pile of garbage floating through space.”

Maybe it was all garbage floating through space after all.

A self portrait I drew this weekend.