Stuck on the What if

Life or death.

You chose.

Although, sometimes we don’t have a choice. My friend lost her life today. Out of the blue, I received the news from Facebook. I thought she was fine. I thought she could get through it, but I was wrong. I should have been there for her. What kind of friend am I to not know that this was her plan. I spent so much time not talking to her because I was coping with my own problems. How could I have been so selfish to not at least check up on her every week. Now I am living with this regret of “What Ifs”.

There is not much more for me to say. I am lost, I can’t make up the words or anything to express how I feel, expect that, that would have been me. If it wasn’t for her being there for me, my parents would probably be planning my funeral. At this point, I wish that her death wasn’t painful. I hope she will forgive me for not being there for her when I should have.

XOXO