peaches

Oh this chick doesn’t think to highly of us does she?

We’ve been sitting there minding our own bussiness , sure we’re a little loud and laughing quite a bit, but it’s a bar, the band could still be heard clearly. Then she struts over acting all high and fucking mighty and starts to tell each and everyone of us off. I will say this…this chicks got skills. She has the ablitlty to single out one individule with a verbal tirade while still chirping at the rest of the table.

 This whole scene actually happened about 6 or 7 years ago and I can’t actually remember what it was that she was so mad about. I do however remember that most of the abuse was directed at my budy "M" who just sat there staring at her in disbelief.  None of us had ever been to the bar before, and I doubt if any of us have been back to it since. We were out of town on a golfing weekend and asked the cab driver to take us to a decent bar with a live band. As for the broad with the attitude problem… hell if I know what set her off , but she stood at our table for about a good 7-10 minutes ripping us. The band had finished thier set and it was in the pause between the live music and the dj that the woman really stepped up her attack…stepped it up to the point where she attracted the ears of just about everyone in our part of the bar. She had ammassed a large group of witnesses. It was like watching a car wreck…you couldn’t look away. I leaned over to whisper something to the guy standing next to me and she caught me in her sights. Called me a pussy or chicken shit for not having the balls to say what I was saying out loud. So in a clear and slightly louder than needed voice I said that I had told my friend that even though she’s most likely insane that I’d still do her. The table and most of the tables arround us exploded with laughter. It never seemed to cross her mind that just maybe the 5 complete strangers that she was lipping off at were enjoying it. It was like having your own personal court jester. She turned the majority of her attack back to "M". And finished her arguement by leaning over the table and saying " What do you think about that ?"

M looks around the table and see’s that clearly the question was directed at him. Stands up on the foot rest part of the bar stool he was sitting on and leans way accross the table so that he’s just inches away from her face.

" PEACHES"

I fell off my bar stool I was laughing so hard. The poor woman had no clue what was going on. Her  entire scene was blown all to hell by a long haired drunk guy with one word. " PEACHES" . To this day "M" swears to god he had no idea what he was going to say until he said it , has no idea why he chose peaches and will argue that if it wasn’t witnessed by the other 4 guys there he wouldn’t believe he actually said it.

You could see the confusion instantly on her face. the 5 of us were cracking up and laughing along with anyone else in the bar that was still interested enough to be paying attention. Judging by the number of people that were laughing I’d say that our table was the center of attention at the moment. She stood there for a few seconds looking all confused as hell,  turned and stormed off back in the direction that she had come from. She never left the bar and stayed pretty much within eyesight all night. Every  once in a while we’d tell our waitress to send her another of whatever she was drinking. The least we could do was buy her a few drinks.

Just a glimpse back in time…Brought on by me buying a few peaches this morning from the grocery store.