my fiance is dating some guy.

So yeah …went and had coffee with my friend. the one whom i have the marriage pact with.

she tells me that whe has been out on a few dates with a really nice guy. I hate hearing this news.I told her years and years ago that if she’s going to get into a relationship , that i don;t want to hear anything about the guy ,,,in my mind he’s an asshole, doens’t matter what he actually might be like. he’s an asshole in my book…I’ve seen her track record… the odds are in my favor.

I went there this morning to tell her that she has been on my mind alot as of late. Most likely brought on by the fact that for the first time in a very long while i can see it . I can see or picture myself in a relationship and finally settling down…actually i’ve been noticing it for quite some time now. My family has pretty muched stopped  the bugging me about it , my friends no longer question me about being single. Knowone is trying to set me up on dates. it seems that everyone around me has finnaly come to grips with the fact that i’m perfectly happy and content being single. I have a good life. I’ve found my groove and have started to dig out a pretty good picture of my future. so yeah …things are settled and calm here…no better time to toss a love life into the gears and fuck the whole thing up…lol

So we had a good talk. So shes dating some jackass. I’m fine with it …we don’t get married for a few more years yet so i might as well let her have her fun…and besides it’s not going to work between them I can see it already. She made a comment that i take my sweet ass time in getting around to her and I. And that her mother told her that she can;t wait around for me forever…lol..this is funny…not funny" ha ha" , but funny "what the fuck !"

Why what the fuck?  simple. I’ve done nothing but be here for her whenever she has needed me. And all she has ever done is push me away. Not physical push but she pushed…we’d start to get close after either her or i had broken up with someone else and boom. she’s dating someone else …or calling to tell me about some guy she likes…I’ve been a great fill in boyfriend to her and i’ll continue to be that for her. just recently she has started to tell me about all the feelings that she has had for me over the years.

 Just once i’d like to meet a woman that understands the fact that even though i can look at a blank piece of paper and see a cartoon drawing or look at blueprints and work and instantly see what the finished product will looklike…I cant look at a woman and figure them out. I have the social inteligence of a fence post. I’m not the type of person that picks up on other people’s little ism’s  and know what they are thinking. It’s not a confidence thing like someone told me once told me …I have plenty of that. I’m just not good at reading people…things would be so much easier for me if women just told me what they want or need.

As for my friend and her new beau…I hope he turns out to be a good guy. I really do. It wouldn’t be fair for me to ask her to not date him. I love her , i’m just not in love with her. Don’t know if this makes any sence to anyone or not but then again i’ve never been secretive about the fact that i could care less what anybody else thinks…this is my world …not yours. Will her and I ever end up together…hell if i know. would probably be fun. But thats something that only time knows the answer to. This is all relatively new to me actually. the first ninteen and a half years i had no clue that she liked me ….lol

later fuckers