MultiPersonalaMe

Ran into myself a few times over the weekend…

A self I don’t remember packing for the weekend get together with the family.

A self I can’t seem to get rid of.

A self I had completly forgotten about.

A self I don’t think I’ve ever really met. ( sounds deep but really isn’t)

And of course …Me.

Started off pretty much like every family weekend. I drove to My brothers place a few hours from here and picked them up and all went to my parents place ( 8.5 hours from here) I love driving , but hate to do it alone so it’s always a good laugh to see my brother and sister-in-law. I love them both 2 pieces, they are so much fun to be around. They just celebrated thier 8th wedding aniversary and are both completly ga ga over each other still.  It’s nice to see things like that.  As usuall there were a few tense moments when I became me. But those were all instantly pushed away. You can never be truley angry with someone you love . You can be mad as hell at them. But you can never be angry. And besides He’s not trying to be fatherly to me , He’s my big brother, He’s supposed to give me advice when I don’t ask for it. Once you get to know her, and it takes some time, My Sister-In-Law is a delight to be near. We gang up on my brother and tease the fuck out of him, and each other…lol  Her and I are a work in progress, but it’s getting there.

Mom made me cookies! Oatmeal chocolate fucking chip cookies baby!!! Dad once again is happier than a pig in shit that were there. They miss us terribly being so far away from us. So yeah ! Mom made me a batch of cookies , I’ve pretty much laid waste to the big tub of them that she sent home with me. She said that she felt bad about not having any cookes the last time I was up there. Some where on this planet there is a person that can make a better meatloaf than my mother. But there isn’t a lifeform known to man that can make a better fucking cookie than my mother…I don’t care how good you think your cookie may be , it’s turd compared to Moms.

We pulled out the old photo albums. One very disturbing photo of myself that I had never seen. The whole family had a good laugh about it and of course i played along but man …fucking hurt. The photo was a picture of me at about 3-4 years old . Close up shot of me with an upset/pissed off look on my face. My brother called it the most ture photo of me ever taken…Another round of laughter…He’s going to put it up in his home. I’ll be a conversation piece …It’ll get a ton of laughs. Not too happy about the idea of being remembered as a upset pissed off asshole, but I’ve never really believed that we get to choose our paths in life. Oh sure we all make decissions every day in our lives but lets step back and take a good look at the options…It’s not like I had a choice this morning between a large coffee with 2 cream and 1 sugar or curing cancer. People have a choice of which me they want to remember after I’m gone. They can remember an upset/pissed off me. An shy solitary Me. Angry but somehow still funny Me. A Quiet Me. Or a loud me . it really doesn’t matter, none of them is more me than any of the others , they are all me and I had nothing to do with it …They just happen. This whole weekend with all the different versions of myself really got me to thinking about when i’m actually dead and gone and how if at all i’ll be remembered. Does it really matter? Not really. I think of all the people that I have known who are now gone and they fall under 2 catagories. 1.They are gone and thats how I remember them. Or. 2. They looked uncomfortable all dressed up and in a box. The last time I saw my grandfather he looked uncomfortable to be all dressed up and in that box. When i go ( and i’m putting this in my funeral plans) i want to be wearing a t-shirt, shorts, flip flops and dark sunglasses. I figure that if heaven and hell do exist that i have about a 50/50 chance so i might as well dress to be comfortable. I’m either going to be hot , but not as hot as the fuckers burried in a suit coat or dressed to lay back and enjoy the afterlife. When i’m gone I want to be remembered as the guy who was comfortable with the way he was , no matter what.

" Man this fucker took a few odd turns today eh?" "First time in a long time that I wrote from start to finish without going back to re-read"…"of course went back and added brackets and fixed some of the spelling and grammer mistakes, but not all of them…just the ones that i’m smart enough to catch…lol. "

later fuckers.