If the pond is a rockin…

I’m walking along the pond on the third hole of this little par 3 golf course. It’s hard as fuck and localy known as a ball eater.  If you head out there later in the afternoon it’s always empty. Like today. I usually play this at this course twice a week. Everyone that works there knows me by my name. So any way…

 I’m walking along the edge of the pond looking for lost balls. This fucker of a course is so hard , that when you golf there they give you a little bag with 6 free balls ( used ). With water on everyhole, your going to need them. So anyway…

I’m walking along the side of the pond. looking for lost balls, I-pod is playing out something from the " taking a stroll "  playlist. And was putting my toke pipe back into my golf bag when the rangers cart comes around the corner. It’s someone I did not recognize, Young kid, late teens early 20’s. He pulls up to me and makes the " You have headphones on " ear tap. I pull the ear phone out of my left ear and ask what he said because I couldn’t hear him due to My headphones. I though it was funny. He was all bussiness….They hired themselves a firecracker. He told me that I was going to have to take my head phones off or leave the course. It’s a safety thing! I laughed and kept walking towords the green. He gave me the " Excuse me sir."   I turn back to him and asked what he would like, not bothering to take my headphones off this time. He told me that if I wasn’t going to obey the rules I’d have to leave or something along those lines. Once again I laughed and asked him if the beer cart girl put him up to this. Put Me up to what Sir? Fucking sir. Why does this punk keep calling me sir? Yes golf is called the Gentlemans sport, but I play this game as anything but a gentleman. Headphones and smoking pot has pretty much always been a NO NO on a golf course.I told him to call his boss and have him come out here and tell me to get off the course. He called in the request on his 2-way radio and I heard the other starter laugh as he replyed that he was on his way. Ralph. Ralph the other starter is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet, He’s an ex-cop who retired so that he can spend his days on a golf course.  Ralpf pulls around the corner about a minute later and as soon as he see’s me he starts to laugh. How did I know that this involved you he said. I just shrugged my shoulders and laughed back. He pulls up and asks what the problem is. The other guy …I call him Ace now. Ace tells ralph about how I refuse to take my headphones off and blah blah blah safety blah blah. Ralph gets out of his cart and stands on his tip toes looking around the course.  Ralph laughs and asks who the fuck is going to hit me with a golf ball, there is knowone out here…lol. He then explains to Ace that I’m a regular golfer out there and that he’s more likely to shit out a toaster than get me to take my headphones off…lol As if on que, the beer cart comes around the corner. I buy everyone a round and have a little 15 minute party by the pond on the third hole. Thats the highlight of my day …15 minutes shooting the shit with some people around the pond by the 3rd hole.. The rest of my day was me at work thinking of shooting everyone I work with and hiding the bodies …In the pond on the 3rd hole.