something bad

i think … no … i know i did something very very bad

i gave my friend my mobile to take home after we had been out for drinks … because i knew i couldnt resist drunk texting .. im vulnerable and weak and we both knew where it would lead … so we thought we were being smart in her taking my phone away from me …

really she should have tied me up till i was sober …

i did a shamefully bad bad bad thing … i never should have turned on the computer, i should have just gone to bed and slept it off … but no, i turned on the computer which lead to a really bad embarressing email … which apart from the terrible spelling and shocking sentences that kinda of had no ending to them, i admitted how i felt.

Thankfully i awoke at 4 am in the morning realising that i was dreaming, and yes my face was lying on the keyboard of my laptop as i slept, and this is were i did a shamefull bad bad bad thing … because yes, the email was not shameful enough.

I swore and curesed until 5 am, where i decided that it was now an ok time to ring my friend who works in a certain department at work, which really it so wasnt an ok time to call .. but, anyway, it lead to us driving in to work (thankfully the flash of the id card to security they let us into the hospital) and we found a certain key which led us into a certain office which thankfully someone hadnt logged out of their computer … and yes … i deleted the emails existence compleatly.

I am so so so ashamed of what i did … but i know i would be more ashamed of her reading it.

I mean … what would i have done if she had of read it … oh just wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!

*** edit***

i can now start to see a slightly amusing side to all this … i still think i was very naughty .. but at least now i am laughing!