frustrated

im so frustrated in having people read themsevles into things i say and write .. that every feeling or thought is a reflection on them and that they then take offence to it and i am therefor left to explain myself, when really .. i should never have to explain my feelings and justify it to them.

im just so annoyed .. and hurt

people who i thought where my friends, someone who claims i was there best friend have changed their masks and i realise that i dont really know them at all.  There actions and betrayal have left me feeling hurt and angry, questioning myself most of all, yet im questioned why i feel such ways.  Maybe i just need to lock the door that they forced me to close apon them so they can no longer seep through, im tired of being misinterpreted, im tired of being blamed for their guilt, im tired of being made out to be the insecure needy compulsive person that i know deepinside all of my insecurities that i really am not.  But once i lock that door … what will i have left  – i fear too much lonliness.

Im an intense person that has too much love to give … and unfortunately i seem to give it to all the wrong people.