Everything Hurts SoOo Deeply

My heart hurts … I feel so lost most of the time… alone and unwanted …I am everyones after thought … Its all about what I can do for them …

Mothers Day … My  Austin is my life … he is my heart … I know he truely LOVES me … maybe because he is young  … maybe that will too die as time passes.

I have three children but I feel the love of only one.
Comparing is never a good thing I know … but the events of the day have been put in front of me and I cant help feeling that more love and thoughtfullness has been planned for their father , than  what was planned for me.

My Bella told me that she bought a special pie for her dad and is going to go and see him after she gets out of work. I  was so hurt by her absence of affection on Mothers Day.  She forgot me totally.  I wasnt important enough to her for her to care.  She came home to show me roses that were given to her by her boss.  For a moment I thought she was presenting me this roses for mothers day.  Before making a total fool of myself I realized she was just sharing with me a gift she received. 

I am an after thought at best but usually I am given NO THOUGHT!