What else should I be?

I had forgotten how refreshing having this space is. I practically lived here in my late teens through early twenties.  Huh, maybe all of my twenties?  Doesn’t matter. Ooooold.  I have a couple of safe spaces tucked away here and there now, but mm.mm there’s nothing quite like your first, am I right?

Plus, I like the idea of there being an imprint of another facet of me somewhere.  Somewhat vain, I suppose, but who’s paying attention?  There’s just something so romantic about the idea of there being a whisper of you lingering, long after you’re gone. It has just occurred to me Lord Voldemort must have thought the same thing [gasp] so telling.

This past week has been very productive.  One of the main things I want to accomplish during this time is to get rid of all the fucking clutter.  Jesus fuck.  The garage has been giving me anxiety for the last three years.  Out of nowhere, he suggested we get started on cleaning it out.  Wouldn’t it be lovely if he wants to divorce me too? A girl can dream.  Damn, that’s what I should have wished for. Oh well, hindsight and all that. At any rate, I took it as a sign that I’m headed in the right direction.  Although, it’s just as likely I’m a selfish cow, who’s looking for justification in fabricated divination.  Perception, I guess, and a fence I teeter-totter on.

I’m not going to lie, giving up social media is hard.  Sounds dumb until you try to do it.  I lost count of how many times I’ve grabbed my phone, only to set it down again, “Ooooh yeah.”  As the days go by, though, I’m doing it less and less.  So progress or whatever.  It’s been nice, though, I have to say.  Giving up Facebook was a breeze.  There were a couple of groups I followed that I really enjoyed, but I turned almost everyone off a long time ago.  I just can’t with other people’s negative bullshit anymore, and people don’t like it when you call them out on it, apparently.  The more negativity I cut out of my life, the less tolerance I have for it.  I haven’t quite decided if that’s a good thing or not. Instagram was a lot harder because honestly I’m just a whore for trees, cottages, hedgerows, and excellent photography. I haven’t quite decided how long the hiatus will last.  I had originally thought the entire six months, but now I’m thinking maybe three.  Who knows, maybe after a while I won’t want to go back at all?  Ha, imagine. I’ve decided to leave it open, which is an odd thing for me to say.

Release and surrender ✌

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