Beauty Is – Survey #1

Answers to the questions are aimed at your experiences between the ages of 8 and 15

1.) Can you identify an experience in which your mother made you feel that you were pretty / attractive / beautiful / handsome? If yes, please elaborate.
I can’t really say there’s been one particular instance where my mother made me feel pretty. She told both my younger sister and me that we were pretty girls all the time. However, these are just words. It was in the way she cared for us. The way she looked at us. It was when we looked in her eyes; we just knew we were loved and there were no other two people more beautiful in her eyes.

2.) Can you identify an experience in which your father made you feel that you were pretty / attractive / beautiful / handsome? If yes, please elaborate.
No.

3.) Can you identify an experience in which a peer made you feel that you were pretty / attractive / beautiful / handsome? If yes, please elaborate.
My friends always told me I was beautiful…that didn’t mean I believed them.

4.) Can you identify an experience in which your mother made you feel that you were ugly / unattractive? If yes, please elaborate.
Never.

5.) Can you identify an experience in which your father made you feel that you were ugly / unattractive? If yes, please elaborate.
My father generally had a way of making us feel like we weren’t good enough. I can’t really say that he made me feel ugly per se…more like undeserving to be around him and could no where near measure up to what he thought I should be.

6.) Can you identify an experience in which a peer made you feel that you were ugly / unattractive? If yes, please elaborate.
My grandmother (though not a peer) was the only one who ever said anything negative about my appearance. From about the age of 6, everytime I saw her she told me I was too fat, needed to walk straighter, suck in my stomach and walk like a lady. That’s probably why I turned out to be such a tomboy.

7.) Have you, at any point in your life, suffered from disordered eating, depression or self-harm? If yes, please elaborate.
Yes to all.

When I was sent off to a small Military/Boarding school I became very aware of all the other pretty girls around me. I was also made aware that all the boarders ate all their meals together, which meant I stopped eating. I was highly emotional, began hanging out with two girls who weren’t accepted by the majority of the small cliquey student body. We were immediately classified as outcasts.

I starved myself, got into drugs, became overly depressed and was eventually kicked out for trying to commit suicide. I battled for years with being a cutter. I didn’t stop cutting on a regular basis until I guess about three and a half years ago. However, there are times now when I breakdown and look to it for comfort.

Hope this helps with the research.
Much love!