Three less boxes …

… are taking space under the house Woot Woot!  I would daresay 1.5 boxes went to the bin, half a box is donations, leaving 1 box of random ‘stuff’ that I have found places for … well, I’m in the process of finding places for.  Nothing really noteworthy other than a Coldplay CD, my Life of Pi book, and a stack of handwritten pages from 2010-13.  One of the Feng Shui recommendations is not keeping anything that doesn’t serve me or holds bad memories, and these pages are from a time in my life that was Very difficult.  I was depressed and trying to cope with the shit with Dad, not getting high or drinking alcohol anymore, and our business bankrupting.  Dennis and I were drifting further and further apart, my kids were teenagers coping with their family suddenly becoming dysfunctional, as well as watching their parent’s business fall apart.  It was the beginning of the decade, my life was a shambles, and I was a mess.  The words on these pages are part of my story … my journey … but do I really want to go back there?  I’m finally at a point in my life where I am living in the moment and I feel secure in who I am and where I’m going.  Back then I was shattered into a trillion pieces.  I was emotionally raw.  The shit with Dad was the breaking point, but I also know that it pushed me to get my shit together and face my own demons from childhood, and here I am now, doing just fine.  Are the words I wrote on these pages really so bad then?  I sat this morning thinking about all this and have decided that there is still a purpose for these pages … that they will serve me one more time regardless of the pain and sadness in the words written on them … and then I will burn them.  The foundation of my Career centre of the bagua is all about writing … essays, short stories, poetry, the epic novel I have inside me, but it’s MY story that compels me to write.  I didn’t find these pages by accident.  Under the house overflows with boxes to be emptied and I could have easily picked three other boxes to start with.  It feels like I am another step closer ……….