Snoop is a …

… geriatric cat, and he’s my buddy ❤  His behaviour over the last couple of weeks has been strange and I’m concerned something is going on with his health.  I’ve noticed his muscle mass has deteriorated over the past year, but he’s 17 and I’m pretty sure if that happens to humans when we age, then the same can be expected with elder pets.  His back legs aren’t as springy as they used to be, so I’ve set up stools around the house so he doesn’t need to jump as high.  He  doesn’t seem to be in pain, but he’s restless and his meow’s are different.  He still eats and drinks, but lately he only wants to drink the water from my paint jars … go figure that one out; he poops and pees in his litterbox, although he does seem to have trouble pooping.  I did a bit of online research and there’s several ‘things’ he could have – diabetes for one, kidney disease, feline hyperthyroidism, but there’s such a thing as cat dementia, and it made me wonder if rearranging the furniture has somehow caused him stress.  I don’t have any personal experience with dementia, but I have friends whose parents have it, and I’ve heard how traumatic change can be to someone who lives in their own world.  I know his days are limited and I just want him to be comfortable and at ease as much as possible.  So I’m not being quite so rammy with the feng shui, although I am still soooooo loving how it’s working magic in my life.  I heard that the kind of water we give our pets can cause distress – tap water is filled with minerals and chlorine and if I’m not going to drink it, then my Snoopity-Boop-Boop isn’t going to either.  Bottled water though is devoid of everything, and while I like it, I don’t think it’s giving Snoop what he needs.  The program I watched said that animals will choose spring water over tap or bottled water every time, so I bought a bottle of spring water and that’s what Snoop will get from now on.  I totally get it that doing this is for my peace of mind as well, but it’s not going to harm him in any way.  I’ve also decided to give him the ‘expensive’ soft cat food for seniors, and he gobbled it up!!! What’s with that??  I’m not going to take him to the vet for tests, but I Am going to make these smaller changes with his comfort in mind and watch him closely.  I don’t look forward to the day he dies, but I know it’s gonna happen.

Whew … had to walk away for a few from that entry …….

I flushed the 11 year-old stash of pot I found in a box under the house … after sampling it of course to find out if it still had any oomph, which it did to a much lesser degree than fresh stuff.  I also found something else out AGAIN, that I can’t under no circumstances have any amount of pot in my house regardless of how good (or bad) it is!!!  I tried … omg I Tried to manage getting high and it is just something beyond my capacity.  For a week I was in utter conflict with myself over this shit … should I get high?  when should I get high?  nobody will know … and who would care anyway??  I shouldn’t have been surprised at how easily I slipped back into old patterns, but I was … why?? because it was with 11 year-old shitty pot!! That’s why! Good grief Tina!!!  What I noticed the most was how it affected my positivity and the clarity I so very much enjoy, and yet even noticing that wasn’t enough for me to not get high and save the pot for a more ‘better’ time.  The struggle was real!! and even though I was aware of the BJ’s input and all that, the only way to get off of that fucking gerbil wheel was to flush it.  It took three times on three different days to walk to the toilet with the bag before I finally did it, and wouldn’t you know it … poof!! Conflict gone!!!  When I sat with all this afterwards, I didn’t make a vow to not ever get high again, but I did tell myself that I will never have any amount of pot in my house again and I do hope I Never want to ‘find out’ if I can again.

The PQ meeting was okay, although it was mainly business.  We hammered out some activities over the next few months and I hope that instills some motivation to continue being a member.  I’m still going to check out the group in Moose Jaw in February, and I’m searching for an online writers group as well.  There’s one site I belong to, but it’s the same people talking to the same people, which I suppose is the way it works with online communities.  I’ve submitted several pieces for critique and received next to no feedback from anyone, and yet watch as the ‘regulars’ submit and the other ‘regulars’ comment and critique.  Not really sure what I need to do different.

I subscribed to a free writers conference that I found through FB and it actually was amazing!!  Surprising really because sometimes those “free” conferences and workshops are kinda lame and end up wanting you to pay in the end to get to the “good stuff”, but this one was very Very good.  It was a series of half-hour videos on the different aspects of writing, and the videos were only available “free” until midnight last night.  Out of the ten videos available, I only found one to be lame (in my opinion;)  I’m on the fence about paying the bucks to join the academy (basically an online school) and having access to soooo much more.  While I see it as an investment, I also don’t have an income right now and doing the conversion from USD to CAD, I’d be looking at about $350. per year … peanuts really when I break it down … only $30. per month … hmmmm …. ding ding ding … I’m already subscribing to Skillshare for only $20. per month and I highly UNDERUSE it!!!!  This is good:)  For now, I’ll put more effort into utilizing Skillshare because it offers variety and see if it gives me what I’m looking for in developing writing, painting, photography and who knows what else I’ll find!?!  Not sure if it’s a community, but maybe I can’t have both in one place.  (Having a moment of gratitude for OD and how it helps me figure stuff out – still don’t understand why this place is different than just typing into a document, but it is and I’m thankful that it is)  On that note, I’m gonna go check out Skillshare:) and make it more of a consistent part of my daily routine.